Nineteen

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Sorry for the long wait. Finals has totally kicked my ass. Enjoy this long chapter, everyone!

"Is it a sin to be aroused before marriage?" I asked.

Mom cackled as she walked into the living room, slapping at my feet to move so she could sit next to me on the couch. "What the hell made you think that?"

"I'm pretty sure I read it in the bible somewhere," I muttered, having the strong feeling she wouldn't be taking me seriously anytime soon.

"Well, that would make everyone except asexuals sinners, huh?" she chuckled.

Sitting up on the couch, I gaped at her. "You know about asexuals?" I exclaimed.

She shrugged. "My coworker is that way. Sweet man. But he is in a relationship, which is weird-"

"You can be in a relationship and not have sex in it, you know," I stated.

"True. But why do you ask?" she questioned, beginning to laugh once again. "Did your boyfriend turn you on?"

"Oh, yeah," I smirked.

"Wait," she excitedly said, shifting to face me comfortably, "you and Sky are dating now?"

Proudly nodding at her, I laughed at her squealing. "Mom, it's not that big of a deal."

"My baby is growing up," she said as she began to fake cry, fanning at her eyes dramatically. "I'm gonna be a grandma soon, because you can't keep it in your pants."

"Woah," I snapped, "that is not true!"

"Do you want to have sex?" she questioned.

"Yes."

Mom and I were close. I wasn't kidding when I said the divorce made us closer than ever. She was, and always would be, my best friend. It didn't matter what issue I had, I would always come to her before Marcy, Gray, and now Sky. She was my rock, my anchor, my guardian angel. She was the best person I knew, and while I could say the same about my dad, I just didn't see him enough to be that close with him. That didn't make him any less incredible in my eyes.

When I had my first kiss, I texted her right away. When I came out as bisexual to her, she was incredibly supportive. That was part of the reason why it was so difficult for her to not accept me as agender, but she still loved and supported me and let people call me Spencer. It just sucked to have her call me Bertha.

Nevertheless, I could still tell her anything. She had plenty of life experience to share with me. It didn't matter how sexual the question was, she was ready to give me advice. And though she always asked me to tell her when I was ready to have sex, I never did. Only because there were people who I could see myself having sex with (and would say yes to if they asked me), but there was never anyone special I wanted to share my first time with.

But then Sky decided to just walk into my life and ask me to be his partner, and now we may have sex. I was truly hoping we would. Not only did I feel ready to have sex when the time is right, but I also want to be able to write a realistic sex scene if any of my books or stories came to it. Maybe I could even write a poem about the experience of having sex and the way I felt and such.

"Do you feel ready to have sex?"

"If I ever do have sex, it will be with someone I trust and feel comfortable with. I'm not going to go out and have sex with any old stranger or something. You know that's not who I am," I replied.

"Well, obviously not. I raised you better than to think that's a good idea," she scoffed. "But if Sky asked you to have sex, would you?"

"Yeah," I shrugged. "I can see it. I'll need to learn more about him first and everything, but sometimes I'll see him in class and want to drag him into the bathroom to have sex with him. Is that a sin? I feel like I read that's in the bible too."

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