Things go nowhere but up once you've hit rock bottom. Only I was nowhere near the bottom. It felt more as though I were in the middle somewhere, yet it was impossible to do anything except sink. There was an anchor tied to my ankles, yanking me down to the bottom of the ocean into unmarked territory where I would never see mankind again and I would die.
Obviously, I knew I was being over dramatic. But it finally sunk in that I had to break up with Sky. There was no romantic love for him in my heart. And breaking up could lead to multiple different outcomes. He would tell me no and that we needed to stay together. He would convince me to stay with him, telling me I would grow to love him like he did with me, even though there didn't seem to be even a sliver of a chance of that happening. He could hate me and never want to see me again.
The outcome I was hoping for was that he would understand how I had been feeling and would set me free and allow me to be happy on my own. I would wish him the best of luck with his life as well and hope he finds someone to love him the way he loved me, even more if possible. And we would grow old together as best friends and remain in one another's life. Yeah, that would be great.
A part of me knew that that would never happen. He was bound to be pissed at me, but I had to find a way to make it seem more natural and not abrupt like I feared it would be. I wanted to make the breakup as perfect as possible. Yet there was no such thing as a perfect breakup. Even I knew that the trope in movies and television where all the people around them stopped to listen in to the conversation and applaud the two for ending things as dignified adults is impossible.
Did that mean that Sky and I would never be able to become friends again? Did that mean that he had to leave me for good? Was the one trope that some people could remain friends even after they broke up true? If they could, was it right away, or did it take time? I knew it wouldn't take any time for me...or maybe it would. Maybe it would be a little awkward to be around Sky for a while, but would it get better later on? Would we move on at the same time so we could become friends again at the same time? I didn't want to spend any more time apart from him than I had to. Whatever would make him most comfortable, I would do it, even if that mean he didn't want to be friends anymore.
A rapid tapping against my car window startled me. Glaring at the person, I rolled my eyes when I saw it was Sky standing there, laughing his ass off. Well, good for him. Great, now I was just being bitter. At least he helped snap me out of the thoughts that were far too heavy to be debating over while sitting in my car outside a total stranger's house as a party commenced inside, and a little outside (which no one needed to see).
"Hey, Poe," he laughed as he leaned down to peck my cheek. "You alright? You were in outer space there."
"Yeah, I'm good," I lied. If I said fine, like I almost did, he would instantly know something was wrong. Fine did not mean anything good. I just had to keep things smooth sailing for a while longer.
"You sure?" he questioned. He could see through me. That was an issue that was bound to happen from spending so much time together. It was suddenly far easier to see through our façades, especially when we were trying to hide the deceit and pain from one another.
"Yeah, let's have fun," I stated, leaving no room for discussion. Grabbing his hand, I led him into the slightly crowded house.
Was this what college parties were like? Was this what high school parties were like? Drinking, smoking, the possibility of someone doing coke in the bathroom? There was so much going on with alternative dance music thumping through the speakers. It was a miracle the police hadn't shown up yet. Or maybe everything was just louder than I was used to. I could hear conversations easily, though not clearly. But I was the type to stay indoors all the time, no matter what was happening in town. A little music wasn't going to kill me. Maybe my eardrums.
YOU ARE READING
Chasing ZeroGeneral Fiction
Life is full of positive and negative numbers. Everyone in a negative is striving for a positive number, and those in the positives fight hard to stay up there. Sometimes it prompts them to fall down into the negatives. But there is one number every...