Chasing Zero

Twenty-Nine

"I'm going to break up with Sky."

It wasn't the most appropriate time to tell Gray since he was in the middle of taking my picture for an assignment of his. I planned to tell him at the end of our photo shoot, but I couldn't hold it in any longer. The moment he told me to make a face as though I was about to reveal something big, I blurted it out.

Multiple details zapped through my brain. How was I going to break up with Sky? In no way was I going to do it in a public place, but at the same time I didn't want to be alone with him as I did. Who knew what sort of rage would fly through his mind? He wasn't a violent man, but there may have been anger under his skin no one had been able to bring to the surface until the moment I broke up with him. I did not want to witness that.

"I meant look like you were revealing something to me," he deadpanned.

"Should I say it again so you can take a picture of me as I say it?"

I should have kept my mouth shut and waited like a professional. He had his final coming up, and he needed a model who would tell a story through just their emotions in five pictures. He chose me to model because he knew I would take the project seriously and allow him to do whatever he wanted to me in order to get the perfect shots.

Gray rolled his eyes and grumbled under his breath as he placed the camera on the counter behind him. "Well, we're not going to get any work done right now, are we?"

"No, I'm sorry. I'll keep quiet." I shook my head and faced him head on. "I'll be professional."

"Spencer," he exhaled, "how long have you been waiting to tell me this?"

"Over a week," I mumbled.

"A week?" he asked, flabbergasted. "How long ago did you realize you wanted to break up with him?"

"Over a week."

"Well, what's going on? Why do you want to break up with him?"

"I don't love him the way he loves me."

"How does he love you?"

"He's in love with me," I stated. "He was all poetic when he described his love for me and how he loves me cause I have a beautiful soul and shit. He is still hoping that I will one day fall in love with him, too."

"Are you?"

"Clearly not if I'm going to break up with him."

"Do you think you ever could be in love with him?"

"No."

"Then break up with him," he shrugged as he picked up his camera.

"That's it?" I exclaimed. "That's all you have to say? That I should just break up with him?"

He snapped a picture of me and smirked. "I liked your face there."

I glared at him. "Really, Gray?"

"Do you not actually want to break up with him? Because you know that would be cruel on a whole nother level-"

"No, I want to break up with him."

"Then what more are you wanting for me to tell you? 'I told you so?' I won't say that. How is that going to help you?" he questioned with a roll of his eyes. "Look, man, you didn't know at the time that this was how things were going to end. You thought you were going to fall in love with him, but you didn't. That's common. People fall in and out of love all the time. And some people mistake their feelings for something more. It happens all the time."

"I like him, Gray. I really do. I thought I could fall in love with him so I could be happy and finally reach Zero."

"You think Zero is love for you?"