Fourteen

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"So, how are you feeling today?"

"Negative ten," I replied.

"So, average?" Johnathon concluded as he wrote it down, and I shrugged. "Do you feel as though you're in a depression?"

"Just...stuck, I guess," I replied.

"Can I ask when you first started feeling stuck, or are you not sure?"

"I guess it was after my date with Sky."

"Oh, yes, how did that go," he excitedly asked as he leaned forward on his knees.

I smiled as I leaned back into the couch, the cushions attempting to swallow me whole. "Great. I had a wonderful time with him," I answered. "We went out to dinner, he told me about...his past."

"You stammered. Did he do something wrong or bad that makes you uneasy?"

"He's not that type of person anymore. He's been working to get his life back on track. He left his old group of friends who led him down the dark road, and he chose to take the road he should have originally taken with a new group of friends who helped him to recover-"

"You're spiraling," he noted.

"Right," I stated.

Now, I got off track a lot. Whenever we had these sessions, I would start off talking about what I wanted to talk about and then get off track and not be able to get the full story out in the amount of time we had. So, to help out, whenever I began to go off track from what I was trying to talk about, he would alert me. Sometimes I was on the right track and would let him know, other times he helped me to regain my focus to continue on.

It was never in his intentions to be rude, just to help me out and make sure we had the time to talk about what I desperately needed to that day. Sometimes he would ask questions to relate to what I was talking about, and if he was spiraling from what I wanted to talk about, I would let him know. If he began to ask too many questions that were irrelevant, I would let him know, but I was always sure to give him as much background information on the situation as possible. I was almost certain that my folder was the largest one of all his patients.

"So, he did some bad things that I promised to never talk about, and he has been getting his life back on track, so no, that wasn't the problem. I don't see that man in the person I'm trying to go out with, but that's the problem. Whenever my friends ask about us and I tell them how I feel, they always assume that I like him romantically when I'm still not sure," I explained.

"If you don't know about your feelings, then why not take a step back and allow yourselves to become better friends first," he suggested.

"That would make an interesting plot," I mumbled.

"Plot," he groaned. "Spencer, please do not tell me that you are writing out this man's life as a book."

"No," I stated.

"Good."

"I am turning our story into a book, but it's not all word for word what we do. The characters are inspired by us, and the romantic things Sky does helps me write my romance novel for more accurately. This way, I know it will be authentic," I corrected.

"No," he exclaimed. "Spencer, you are playing with this man's life."

"How?"

"You're using him for your book."

"Yeah, that's a bonus, but it's not the only reason I'm with him," I said.

"Then what's the other reason?"

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