Chapter Twelve

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The apartment was silent when I arrived home early that morning. The sound of my heels clicking on the hardwood floors echoed in the large, empty space.

Outside, the night was still dark, and normally, I would take a shower and sleep the remaining hours until the sun climbed up in the sky. Not this time, though.

Heaving a sigh, I force myself out of the state to the resounding emptiness that had brought me in and advanced into the room, throwing my keys on the small table near the door. Running a hand through my hair, I dropped my bag on the couch in passing, as I made my way into the kitchen. My head was pounding, so I grabbed a bottle of Tylenol that I always kept within easy reach, shook a pill out, and fetched myself a glass of cold water. I took it with me to the living room after I had swallowed the painkiller, setting it down on the coffee table.

There was no way I could close my eyes in this situation, so I kicked my heels off and settled on the couch to watch the sun break over the city through the large glass wall. I was tired – exhausted, even – both because of the jet lag and the conference I had to attend, but there were thoughts circling my head – thoughts that made me restless.

I couldn't remember the last time I had felt so out of my element, so unreasonably scared. Even when Lisa appeared out of the blue on my doorstep, I had known what her next move would be. But now... now it was impossible for me to see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.

Since my son was born, Riley had never been one day apart from me – one day. Perhaps I had left him alone for a couple of hours while I dealt with matters regarding work, perhaps there were nights when my boy went to sleep on his own, and perhaps he had learned to make sandwiches by himself whenever I was late for dinner.

But Riley had never been away from me.

I know that our lives would have to change once Lisa stepped into the picture. I had known the time had come for me to share my son. I had known that Riley would grow to love his other parent, that maybe he would grow to prefer his LILI. That had never bothered me, though, because Lisa was his other mother, and that was the way things should have always been like.

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