{h} the butterfly effect : bts gang au

XXVII.

Sometimes it's easy to forget that Jimin is just an average person with thoughts and feelings just like everyone else.

My first impression of him was that he was this egotistical asshole on a pedestal, full of cheeky winks and witty remarks. But as the days grew shorter and the nights grew colder, I have learned just how big of a heart this man actually holds in his chest. I can tell that it has been weighing him down lately.

This world we live in is holding him hostage, keeping him from living a normal life with normal friends and a normal girlfriend. It has kept him isolated, him being completely and utterly alone in his thoughts which consume most of his energy when he can't fall asleep at night. The life he is living is taking every last bit of his true self and manipulating him into someone he can barely recognize.

But there is nothing he can do to get out. He pledged his allegiance to his brothers who would do absolutely anything for him, and Jimin would not hesitate to return the favor.

Not to mention, his love and support for his brothers fills his heart more than anything else in this world. Jimin knew exactly what he was getting into when the two separate halves of BTS finally came together by destiny, but he had no idea what this lifestyle would take away from him in the end.

As he has said before, the only thing he can truly count on with this job is his death.

It must be so emotionally draining to feel alone while being constantly surrounded by the ones you love, but the toll emptiness takes on someone has no boundaries and it doesn't discriminate. Jimin is so full of compassion and commitment, and his beautiful persona shines brighter and more vibrant than the sun at midday, but deep down, his soul is lost, empty, and sad. His soul longs for everything that he can't have.

I wish I knew everything that runs around in his head. I wish I knew everything about him and his group so that I could finally understand why they fell into this pit that they call life. I wish I knew how to fix this.

I wish I had a magic lamp to grant me my three wishes.

But I don't because this is my reality, our reality. All of us have to come to an agreement of how we go about this problem that holds all of us by the back of our shirts, so instead of being dropped off at home, we are all sat around a big black table to throw out suggestions and plan for the next move.

Never in a million years would I have thought that I'd be here, sitting with them and talking about the organization that we are calling the Zealots, who has been wreaking havoc under our noses this whole time.

"So, now we know that they knew who Hana was when she went into their establishment, but do you think they know we had a microphone on her?" Seokjin asks from across the table, glasses perched upon his nose and a pen at hand.

"I wouldn't put it past them. Either way, they said what they needed to say to get their point across, be it through Hana or a microphone," Hoseok replies to Seokjin, but by the way he spares a glance at me, I can tell that there is still some hostility from the mission.

"Hoseok and I have already listened to the recording from Hana's necklace, but I want everyone to have a listen and see if you can hear anything familiar," Namjoon calls out loudly as if we were encompassed in a rambunctious room, but besides the idle conversations, it's so quiet that I could hear a pin drop.

Namjoon walks to the large computer in the corner of the room before clicking on a file, and my muffled recorded voice fills the atmosphere like a fog.