{h} the butterfly effect : bts gang au

XX.

"Damn Hana, you look like shit," Jae gasps at my appearance; I probably look sweaty and worn out which is exactly how I feel as I walk into my apartment after training with the guys all day.

"Thank you so much," I sarcastically drawl as I plop myself down on the couch. Jae quickly drops what she was doing in the kitchen, scurries into the living area, and sits excitedly on the couch next to me. The way she is smiling at me is implying that I have some tea to spill, "Oh, no, I'm not in the mood to talk about it."

"C'mon bitch, spill it. I've been waiting since Jimin was on the phone with you this morning," she says while clapping enthusiastically but her words make my heart stop. I told Jimin on the phone that I was with Jae earlier, but she was with him and presumably Jungkook.

He knows I lied to him.

"Oh fuck, Jae! I told him I was with you earlier." I let out an exasperated sigh as I burry my face in my hands with regret. I look up at her and she has the most perplexed expression on her face.

"Why would you say that?" She looks confused and a little off-put by my confession. I look in the opposite direction of her and instead watch the particles of dust in the air dance in the light of the muted television. "What are you hiding from me?"

She already knows, and I can't lie to her.

"I was with his friend Taehyung," I bluntly say, directing my attention to my twiddling thumbs now. "But we aren't fucking if that's what you're thinking."

I hear a deep sigh, "Bitch, do you realize how whipped Jimin is for you? Jungkook tells me he has been talking about you a lot lately and you being all buddy-buddy with his friend is gonna push him away."

I can't bring any words out of my mouth. It's completely rational for Jae to feel this way considering Jimin is her boyfriend's friend and she doesn't want either of us to get hurt over something stupid, but she doesn't understand. There are things that she literally is not able to know about.

She can't know about BTS, and she can't know about how I've involved myself with them.

"Hana, you've changed these past few months. I don't know what has gotten into you, but you know you can come to me about anything, right?" Jae brings a hand to her face and pouts when I don't say anything more. I can't say anything else because I can't lie to her anymore. Lying to her is impossible because she is the greatest friend that I have ever had. Her facial expression changes quickly from sympathetic to hurt, "Right?"

I send her a small smile as I get up from my comfortable spot on the couch, and I can feel the sadness expressed on my face . Unable to look at her without crying and confessing everything, I walk up to my room and let out a deep sigh as I close the door. Within seconds, tears pool up in my eyes and burn my cheeks as they fall.

The feeling of helplessness with the situation I am in floods my system and completely breaks the weak levee I tried to build towards it. I haven't even involved myself deeply with Jimin so why do I feel as though I'm falling down a rabbit hole and will hit the bottom soon? Impending doom seems like it will be in my near future, and I guess that feeling can be seen as dramatic, but this is real.

They have killed people, they have tortured people, and they have associated themselves with the darkest and most menacing people in the underground economy of Korea. However, Jimin's toxic yet incredibly infatuating persona engulfs me like a satin sheet. I am completely covered and comfortable, but I can be left vulnerable with one simple cut by a blade.

And after tomorrow night, I will be officially associated with them.

I take a deep breath and reach for my phone. Almost immediately, I go to one poisoning number and listen to it ring in my ear as more tears fall from my face. As much as it hurts me that I keeping this from Jae, I only have one person to talk to about this.