Boy Journal✔

34

You entered the busy home with the man you were in love with.

You walked upstairs to your the man you're in love with's room.

You laid in the man you're in love with's bed.

You laid in the man you're in love with's arms.

He held you softly as your arms wrapped tightly around his waist. You had missed him being in the same house so much that it hurt.

But then you looked up at him. "Hey, Yoongs..."

"Hm?"

You stared into the chocolate pool of his eyes. "I missed you being here so much."

He grinned, his gummy smile showing off. "I missed you, too."

You bit your lip and let your breath come to a slow, steady wave. He was finally in his bed with you, your body in his arms. You had missed it so much. It had already been about two months. You wished you two never had that moment in the kitchen that one faithful night.

Speaking of that night...

You looked up at Yoongi, your heart beating at the speed of a bullet. You cringed. Wrong choice of words.

"Yoongs... About that night..."

He looked down at you, his smile bright in his face as his perfectly shaped fingers curled through your locks. "What night? When I was shot?"

You shook your head, a light hue spreading on your cheeks. "T-The night," you stuttered a bit. "The night you disappeared. What happened?"

His soft smiled left his winter-like face, his lips forming a smooth, straight line. "When I disappeared? I..." He began to tell you the events from that night, from the rejcted kiss to the day when you found him.

Your eyes were glued to his sparkling ones as he exclaimed more.

"Why didn't you ask me this in the hospital?"

"I wanted you to heal, not worry about anything else." You nodded, your fingers making tiny circles on his back. "I should have stopped you from leaving. If I did, you wouldn't have gotten kidnapped."

He shook his head. "It's not your fault. Let's get some rest, okay?"

You nodded. "But first..." You got up, your hands reaching into your work bag. You pulled out your most hidden secret.

You handed the object to him, your hands shaking greatly. You stuttered a bit. "Th-this... I think you should have it."

You bit your lip and stepped out of the room, a figure quickly dashing to anpther room and slamming the door. You raised a brow and stepped into your own room.

"I wonder why Jungkook was in such a rush."

ㅡ

As soon as you went out of his room, he looked at the cover. It had mint a white stripes covering the front and back. On the front, in very sloppy hand writing, it said, "Min Yoongi: Boy 1."

He opened the book, the first page looked as if it was written by a seven year old. In fact, it was. It was your first entry from when you both first met.

"Deer Yoongi,
I just met yoo and we ar the bestest of frends, rite? When I let you reed this, yoo will laff at me. Hehe. Yoo ar the best Yoongi. I love yoor smile too!!"

A smile creeped onto his face. He chuckled. "How cute..." He flipped a few mor pages. The hand writing wasn't as sloppy, but it was still horrible.

"Dear Yoongi,
You left with your dad today to go do some adult work. I'm really worried about you. You told me you didn't want to go. Remember that promise you made me when you came home crying with bruises all over. You broke your promise, Yoongi. It's okay. I'll still love you. Please don't get hurt."

He bit his lip. Yoongi always kept his past hidden, but reading this made hin realize he shouldn't keep his past hidden. Especially you.

His fingers scrolled through a few more pages, very neat writing shown on the paper.

"Dear Yoongs,
You told me that we should run away together. That would be nice, to live without them and only have you. Yoongi, you promise to stay with me, right? Stay with me forever? I love you so much. I can't bear the thought of losing you.

Jungsoo and I kissed for the first time. Of course you know, you saw it. The look in your eyes seemed like you were hurt. What would there be to be hurt about? It's just me Yoongi. If you're hurt because you like me, you shouldn't like me. I'm not worth it."

He tightened his lips. "You are worth it, Y/n..." He let the pages slip vetween his fingers, going to the last written page.

"Yoongi...
I'm so sorry. We should have never ran. You got hurt for fucks sake! Not just a scratch, but you got shot. I love you. I love you so much. I shouldn't have let this happen. I could have stopped this. Please forgive me. If I lose you or Joon, I'll leave. I won't be able to fight anymore. I can't... Even now... I feel so lost.

It's okay. I won't kill myself. I'll be alive, but I'm not sure if I'll live. Do you know what I mean? I'm sure you do."

He flipped the page, his eyes filled to the brim with tears threatening to escape. "It's okay now..."

He turned the page, his eyes catching sight of a page ripped out and then nothing.

He stood up abruptly, his feet rushing him to your room. He walked in without knocking, his eyes catching sight of nothing but a sheet of paper on your neatly tucked bed.

"I figured it out. Don't worry... I'll be back. I just went somewhere. If I'm bot back by the end of this week, I need you to forget about me. I love you. Not that I love you, Yoongi...
I'm in love with you."

And Yoongi has never ran any faster in his whole entire life.