Hanahaki Disease // Sanders Sides - Virgil

🌹Chapter 11🌹

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Passing Patton's room, I heard muffled voices. I assumed it was Logan that Patton was talking to, and walking past Logan's open door confirmed my thought.

When I got to my room, I flopped onto my bed and instantly fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.|

TW: Mentions cuts, lots of crying again

Virgil POV:

Black. That was the first thing I noticed when I opened my eyes. Everything was black. I tried to turn my head to look around me, but I wasn't able to. I tried to move my arms, but they felt like dead weights by my side. My legs felt the same. I tried to speak, but my throat was parched, and I didn't make a sound.

I didn't know where I was. I didn't think this was heaven, and I was sure as hell that this wasn't, well, hell. I felt like I was floating in empty space.

As I contemplated my location, I slowly regained some feeling in my limbs. The first thing I could feel was solid ground beneath my feet. Feeling crept up my legs and through my body. When it reached my right arm, I hissed in pain, finally able to feel what I did to myself. I tried moving my arm to feel how bad the cuts were, but I still couldn't move any of my limbs.

Within seconds of being able to feel my limbs, I was blinded by a spotlight of white. I closed my eyes to protect them from the sudden brightness. Even with my eyes closed, the light was blinding, turning my eyelids orange. Opening my eyes a crack, they gradually adjusted to the light, and I glanced around the space in front of me.

There was a large rectangle of light directly in front of me. The area around it was black and looked endless. I was trying to see if anything was out there when a figure appeared in the light. Immediately my eyes were focused on it.

I couldn't make out any details on the figure. All I could see was their silhouette. Slowly they walked closer to me, stopping a few feet away from where I stood. From there I could see the basics of what they looked like.

They were wearing dark jeans, a purple t-shirt, and a medium grey zip-up hoodie. Their brown hair was dyed purple at the ends, and their bangs fell in front of their face. They looked to be my twin except for the fact that they didn't have any eyeshadow under their eyes, and they looked a lot more confident than I usually was.

"Greetings, Virgil," they said in a voice that sounded almost exactly like mine.

"Uh... hi??" I managed to croak out. "Who are you?"

They chuckled a little before responding. "I am you."

"How???" I asked, extremely confused.

"I'm a figment of your imagination," he said, taking a few more steps closer. "I'm still Anxiety, but more relaxed and carefree. I'm the version of you that you want to be."

I was still very confused, and I blurted out the first thing that popped into my head.

"Where am I?" Each time I spoke it was easier for me to make noise, and my voice was almost back to normal.

"That's a good question," the other me said. "Technically, you're lying on the couch in the Mind Space, but you have locked yourself in your subconscious."

"So I'm not dead?" I asked.

"No, but you're close," he said, coming even closer. "Your fate is in your hands. You can choose to leave your subconscious and wake up from your 'coma', of sorts, or you can choose to die. It's all up to you."

He took a few steps back.

"I'll give you some time to think about your choice. In the meantime, I'll be watching something. Feel free to watch with me."

I saw him lift up his hand and snap his fingers. As soon as he did that, I was able to move my body. I lifted up my right arm, which still hurt, and saw bandages wrapped around where I cut.

I heard voices and I looked back up. What looked like a giant tv hung in the empty space, and the other me was watching it. On the screen, I could see Roman, Patton, Logan, Deceit, and Thomas. I took a few steps closer and realized that the tv was playing flashbacks of my favorite moments with all of them. It was currently showing the Christmas carol we all sang during a video last year. I watched each memory shown, caught in a web of nostalgia.

Halfway through the clip of when I revealed my name, the video cut out and turned to static.

"Hey," I said, turning to the other me. "What happened?"

"Just watch and see," he said, eyes never leaving the screen.

I turned back to the tv in time to see another clip appear. This clip was very different from the other ones. The ones shown before were happy memories, but this one made me want to cry.

The video started after I had passed out. I watched in horror as Deceit broke down and Patton tried to comfort him. With tears forming in my eyes, I saw each of the sides reading their letters, Roman running out of the room once he finished his. I watched as Deceit told Thomas about what happened, tears starting to roll down my cheeks.

The last few seconds of the video was Logan, Patton, Roman, and Deceit sitting at the table. Plates of food sat in front of them, but none of them ate. I looked closely at all of them and saw tear stains on each of their cheeks.

"What have I done?" I mumbled to myself.

The screen went black, and I stumbled back a few steps before falling to my knees. Tears were streaming down my cheeks, and I was gasping for breath.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see the other me kneeling in front of me. He gave me a sad smile and rubbed my shoulder.

"How... long... has... it... been... since...?" I asked between gasps.

"Three days," he whispered before I even finished my question.

Three days. Three days of them being miserable and not eating. Three days of them blaming themselves. Three days of them crying every time they saw me lying on the couch. Oh, god. What have I done?

I let all of the anger I felt towards myself out in tears, allowing them to cascade down my face. I hugged my stomach, feeling like I was going to be sick. I somehow knew that it was impossible, but I still felt it.

The whole time I was crying, the other me was gently rubbing my shoulder. The feeling of being comforted reminded me of Patton and all he did for me, which only made me cry harder.

When I had calmed down and stopped crying, the other me cleared his throat. I looked up at him, and he spoke.

"I'm gonna have to know your decision now," he said softly.

I straightened my back and wiped away any stray tears that were still on my cheeks.

Looking him squarely in the eyes, I responded.

"I have to go back."

A/N:

Hey y'all!! What'd ya thank of the chapter??? I didn't really have a plan when I started it, but I like how it turned out. 

I already have a bit of an idea for the next chapter, so I'm hoping to get working on that soon so I can get it out earlier in the weekend.

Keep on voting and commenting!!!!! You don't know how much it makes my day to see y'all enjoying this book.

Until next time,

Take it easy guys, gals, and non-binary pals!!!

~death_by_fanfic