Wonderful Worlds ( The Hobbot, Kili x OC)

Part 10: Jamie

"I can't say fancy elf maids myself." Kili stated, looking at Dwalin. "To thin." He continued. I looked down to my lap, hating my self for being anorexic. " They're all, high check boned and creamy skinned." I sunk more into my chair, fiddling with the hem of my shirt. My pale hands twisted the fabric around as I struggled to keep my breathing even. He was basically describing me. I was nowhere as beautiful as an elf, but being supposedly part elf and seeing the resemblance, it still stung. "Not enough facial heir for me." He spoke again. I cringed before remembering what Ori had told me earlier about how female dwarfs had beards too, and that it was what made them beautiful. And so I compared myself again, and by that I'm saying that I belittled myself again.

"Although, that one there's not bad."He says gesturing to an elf across the way. I turned to look and snickered a little under my breath. "That's not an elf maid." Dwalin says quietly. The male elf turned around and the entire table burst out into laughter. Kili looked shocked for a moment, before showing a hint of embarrassment. "It's funny." He says looking like a kicked puppy. I, still laughing, rested my head agents his shoulder to try and show him that it didn't make him any less to me. We just all thought it was rather funny. It only took a second for me to sit up straight again and return to feeling let down by myself. I excused myself early from dinner and headed to my room for the night. The elves were kind enough to spare one for me.

"Why do I have to be so...me?" I question myself. I sigh loudly and lowered my head in defeat. I was ugly, and noting was going to change that. Entering my room I shut the door behind me and slowly made my way to the mirror. I was practically swimming in the jacket that I had been loaned from Fili. Slipping it off it revealed my short sleeved shirt. The cool autumn wind bit at my arms but I didn't mind. I looked at myself again in the mirror. I wanted to be sick. To cover all the mirrors in all the world so that I could never see my reflection ever again.

But that couldn't happen. I was going to be this way forever. Sitting down on the bed to my left I looked down, once again, to my lap. A strand of my fire red hair fell into my face. Taking it into my hand I studied it. When it was taken out of the braid earlier is when I had just realized just how long it was. I twisted it in between my slim fingers. It was so cold they were numb but I couldn't care less.

Pulling it as well as the rest of the hair up into a bun, I stood up and walked towards the bag that had been slung over my shoulder for almost the entire trip. I opened it and looked at the stuff gathered inside. I had picked up some shiny rocks along the path, as well as some flowers. Looking passed those things I ran my fingers over the binding the few books I had left. My mind wandered to the book again. The name and writing inside the cover.

With a deep sigh I tossed it over to the small dest and fell back onto the bed. " This is all so weird." I murmur to myself. Thoughts were running through my head and I couldn't take it anymore. Standing up I stretched and then reached for my boots and Fi's coat. Shrugging it on I began humming while pulling the boots over my feet. Humming turned into full singing as I walked towards the door.

"Dont cry or do

Whatever makes you comfortable

I'm tiered too

There's nothing left to say

Let's call it a truce

'Cause I don't really wanna go to bed like this."

I sung to myself as walked down the quiet halls. The sun hadn't quite sunken yet, so I headed towards the door we came in. The images danced around me, but I ignored them and continued walking down the corridor. The images in front of me were all of the company. All the laughs and fun times. But they mostly revolved around him. I'd known him for about a week and a half, and already had fallen head first for him. 'This is stupid Jamie, this only happens in movies! Not in real life!'