Love Just Is

Chapter THIRTY

Chapter THIRTY

I’ve never been this nervous before. I never fidget the hem of my shirt or crumple my handkerchief in my hand. Theo’s presence is somewhat making it hard for me to think straight. I love this guy in front of me. Like, oh my gosh. I’m in love with him. Am I really feeling that?

           Dad is okay and mom has notified me that in three days’ time, he can go home then. Dad insisted on going back to where he lives but mom is hard-headed and insists on staying in the house. I will insist dad to stay with us as well. I don’t want him to go and live on his own again.

           Chloe has wished me good luck before she leaves. I am also wishing myself a good luck. Theo and I haven’t talked yet about us when he got here. There are so many things I want to say to him and this is the time I’ve been waiting for.

           He doesn’t seem so nervous like I am right now. Does he know what he is going to say when I start asking him question? I wonder what he’s going to tell me. Especially to that making out scene I’ve seen. I want to know real badly why he did that.

           “So…” I start now. Might as well get on with it. “Good thing you decided to stay for another day,” I say.

           He nods. “Yeah. I think there are things we should both clear up. I don’t want to go with these unspoken things going on,” he says, smiling a little. “I mean, especially that—”

           “So we’re thinking of the same thing,” I say, interrupting him.

           He grins now and I can’t help but do the same thing. His smile is contagious. He should smile always.

           “The same thing?” he asks, furrowing his brows.

           “Yeah. The same thing. That, you know, the night you…” I trail off. I don’t really want to think about that. There are other things I should ask him and tell him and that night is just an insertion for clarification.

           “I think we should start with that,” he says now.

           It’s been like, what, a week or two since that night. I’m supposed to tell him that he won on our agreement because I believe in love then. Because he made me believe it. But with what I saw, I don’t even want to think about it anymore.

           “I came at your house that night to say something to you,” I start. “It’s the second to the last day of our agreement and you left grandma’s house already. Without even telling me about it or even saying a proper goodbye.” I pause for a while. Something is settling in the pit of my stomach. “I was about to tell you then that I’m starting to believe in love… that I’ve fallen in love with you, Theo.”

           I know now what’s that settling in my stomach is for or for what it’s for. That is my feelings. It’s growing and growing and it’s because Theo is here and I’m about to confess to him.

           “Yeah. I love you and when I saw you that night—was it night? I can’t remember—it was just unbearable. I don’t want to feel pain and I’ve avoided that for a long time but you… I just met you, a month ago, but you were the one who made me feel it. And I thought, it’s not fair, you know, because I’ve never done anything to someone to feel that way,” I say.

           He is staring at me thoughtfully. I want to know what he is thinking. I want him to say something right away because I think that whenever someone postpones to say something, it’s either they’re making an alibi inside their heads or they are not just interested. But I know that Theo’s different. I like to think Theo’s is different rather than to think he is one of those guys who usually hurt girls’ feelings.