Love Just Is

Chapter TWENTY-TWO

Chapter TWENTY-TWO

I barely know myself now. I’m not even sure what I want right now. I can’t take my mind off of the thought that there’s a guy that’s finally able to make me fall in love after nine years of avoiding it. But as I think about it, every faces of the girls I’ve seen who had been hurt because of love, I’m starting to think twice again.

             There’s a reason why I said those words to Theo. You know, that Cory asked me on a date. I just want him to get off of me. I want him to think that he has no chance with me because as long as he’s around me, my feelings will continue to grow.

             Chloe called me last night and asked me about what happened. My mom called her and told what she knew about what was going on with me.

             The thing that concerns me now is that, there are only three days left after our deal has to end. Three days! Can you believe that? Where the days went to?

             I sigh, putting down the book I’m reading on my lap. I wonder what Theo is going to do for the last three days of the deal. The past few days have been okay for both of us. The arguments would come and go. I’m able to hang out with my friends but not including Cory because he’s busy with his part time. I heard from Scott that there’s a girl always going to the café where Cory is working. I don’t bother asking for anymore question. I’m not really actually interested with what’s going on with Cory’s love life for that matter.

             Theo doesn’t ask anything about the supposed date I had with Cory which is a good thing. I don’t know what I’m going to say to him when that happens.

             “Don’t you wanna take a chance?” Chloe asks over the phone. She’s been doing good. I’m really grateful about that. She met a guy and they are “taking it slow”, according to her. Even if I don’t want to believe her, I just have to give my support to her. I’m her best friend after all.

             I heave a deep sigh. “You know, I’m not actually up for this kind of talk,” I say to her. I’ve been avoiding this kind of talk with Chloe. She will lecture me for not taking a leap since I got the chance to feel love already.

             “Reese, Reese, Reese. When will you listen? There’s this guy who finally shows his feelings for you but still you keep on ignoring it. Not all guys are the same, I assure you that.” That doesn’t assure me.

             “I don’t know what you’re talking about, okay? And like I told you before, I don’t have any feelings for him and I don’t think there will ever be.” That’s a lie.

             No one knows about my feelings for Theo. No one. I can’t risk telling it to anyone. I learn not to give away all your secret even to your closest friend or family. There should always be left for yourself and I decide to choose that one little secret. And besides, it’s not like I’m proud with the feeling. I still can’t fathom it.

             “Be that way.” Then I hear a horn beeping on the background. “Woops. Looks like he’s here. I’ll talk to you later, Reese. Kissy, kissy,” she says, making a kissy sound before hanging up.

             I smile all to myself. I’m happy that at least she’s happy.

             “Do you want to go out?” I hear someone asks behind me. I sigh as I realize that it’s only Theo.

             After all the things that happened between us, Theo distant himself to me. Usually, he would just react on some things I would say, then when I give him the looks, he’d drop what he’s saying and do something else. Some days I would think that he’d given up and just waiting for the days to pass by.