New Yorker? Is that how I am defined here?
"Yep, I just got back a few weeks ago." Sagot ko naman and she nodded.
Talk about awkwardness. Tumingin ako sa kanila at nakatingin lang sila sa amin, they were so stiff. Okay, since my presence is not really welcomed here I better scram.
I turned my attention to the them, "Alis muna ako guys, I have something to discuss with my assistant."
"Jean's arrived?" Tanong naman ni Andy.
"Yep, she arrived the other day." I explained.
"Maiwan ko muna kayo." I turn to Sabrina, "I'll go ahead first but nice meeting you."
Ngiting ngiti pa rin tayo ah?
Di rin papatalo sa ngitian tong isang to, "See you later."
Lakad, takbo ang ginawa ko makarating lang sa hotel room ko.
Hindi ko pinahalata kanina pero nanginginig yung mga kamay ko kaya uminom ako ng tubig mula sa kitchen counter.
He brought her here? Really? God! But who was I to oppose anyway? Di ka girlfriend, umayos ka. You lost the chance a long time ago.
Ugh, I hate this.
But I can't hate the woman. I can sense people and I think she's really nice. I hate myself more for thinking that.
Aware ba siya sa mga nangyari sa amin ni Kevin?
Criticizing her, well there's nothing to criticize. She's really pretty. She's shorter than me and her short hair looks pretty good on her.
Fuck this. I can't deal with this right now. I need a drink. Binuksan ko yung mini ref na nasa loob ng kwarto ko at uminom ng beer.
Later that night, nag-aya silang mag-coffee raw sa rooftop ng hotel. I need the air but I declined telling them that I'm fixing my schedule with Jean for the upcoming months. Ayos tong si Jean na alibi, laging lusot.
I won't make myself the audience of them being together. Hindi ako magiging kontrabida but I also won't be approving of it. I can be civil at hanggang doon lang. They shouldn't expect anymore from me naman di ba?
Nag-coffee naman ako, sa balcony nga lang ng hotel room ko. Well this is much better than deliberately hurting myself.
Haaaay... Buhay nga naman. This turn of events is driving me crazy.
That night, I went to the shore. I just need some air to breathe. But I shouldn't have gone there. I was greeted by them, locking on each others' lips. His arms around her waist and hers around his neck. What a sight, huh?
And no matter how much effort I put into my legs, they just won't move. I can't move myself. I can't help but watch and watching them? Fuck, that was the way Kevin used to kiss me.
Nag-hiwalay sila mula sa pagkaka-dikit ng mga labi nila. And just when I thought it was over, pinagdikit nila yung noo nila sa isa't-isa. I was from a distance and I don't really wanna be here.
I can't take it. I just can't. I hurriedly escaped from the suffocation that scene just brought me.
But hey, guess what? You can't be feeling down now. You chose this. You chose to leave him. You chose to break his heart and now, you may not even have a chance to make it up to him. Fuck this.
I drunk myself to sleep but not drunk enough to drown me from misery.
Tulala pa rin ako sa kawalan. Overthinking things. Pwede bang invicible na lang silang dalawa para hindi ko sila makitang magkasama?
Chapter 48
Start from the beginning
