Only Human (Completed)

Sami's got an idea...oh shit.

Sami and I got really, really messed up as soon as we entered the building. The switchblades were in the house, you WWE fans wouldn't know anything about that. I don't know how we managed but we got tons of lap dances and that helped get my mind off of a certain skipping diva. I hadn't thought of Aj once, I couldn't. Between Sami and the strippers, they wouldn't allow it. I kept getting distracted. "Jon! Jon check this out!" I looked over at Sami who was onstage, laughing and dancing with a stripper on the pole. I fell out of my chair rolling on the floor with laughter. Leave it to Sami to start dancing with strippers. "Wow, you're good on that pole Sami, what have you been up to?" Sami froze and smirked,"You already know man." "I think I'm going to be sick." "As you should man, as you should,"

Sami sat down watching the strippers continue,"As much as I'm enjoying this, I know there's a reason why we're here." I shrugged,"I don't wanna talk about it, Sami." "Yeah I wasn't asking, man." I looked at him but he continued watching them instead of looking at me. I sighed. Sami wasn't going to ease up on me. He never does. "Okay, okay so there's this girl-" "BOOM! There it is! All strip club stories start off with that. Continue man. Talk to Dr.Callihan." "You're a fucking idiot you know that?" I asked, picking up my beer and finishing the hundredth one. Sami finally turned his attention to me but my attention was on this one particular stripper. She caught my eye and smiled. Walking over, I swallowed hard and before I know it, she was giving me the greatest lap dances I've ever had...or maybe I was to intoxicated to realize if it was terrible or not. I just watched her grind on me and I know, this was pretty wrong. BUT to be fair, I was thinking of Aj the entire time.

"Soooo what's her name?" I glanced at Sami then answered his question,"Uh no, I'm not telling you." "Why?" "Because she's a diva and you've heard of her and just no." "Aw Ambrose is in love, what is the world coming to." "Yeah, well, I'm not in love with her. She sickens me. She's great in bed but she sickens me." "You were never a great liar buddy." I rolled my eyes, annoyed then got up and grabbed the stripper's hand,"If I'm lying, why am I about to take," I looked at the stripper,"Whats your name?" She answered,"Candice." I smiled then looked at Sami,"Candice, back to the hotel?" "Because you're a fucking idiot," Sami laughed. I frowned. I don't even know why the fuck I bother with him sometimes.

Sami calmed himself and I let the stripper go, sitting back down covering my face with my hands,"I'm so fucking drunk, Sami. I'm pretty sure sober people can't understand a word I'm saying." "It's a good thing I'm not sober then because we'd be screwed. Look, in all seriousness, you shouldn't be in here. You should be with Aj." I looked up, met with that dumb ass smile of his, and he continued,"I've been watching a lot of WWE lately, my friend. It's clear you have feelings for Aj." "Really?" "Hell yeah! You might wanna make a move because honestly if you don't I will." "Don't, she loves Punk." "Cm punk? Really? Oh man, you're screwed." I glared at him,"You don't think I'm better for her?" "Hell no! He's fucking Cm Punk! Best in the world. And who are you? You're Dean Ambrose. The Lunatic Fringe. Everyone knows if you mix crazy with a lunatic it's bound to all go to shit soon." Sami obviously speaks his mind. That's why he was one of my best friends. He's also been in several relationships that turned to shit so he knows what he's talking about. Or it could be the alcohol in his system.

I started explaining to Sami my relationship with Aj from the very beginning all the way up to the moment I'm in this strip club. We didn't look at each other though, we focused on the strippers cause, well, clothes were coming off of them, duh. I took a deep breath after I finished and he smiled lazily,"I got an idea but first call Roman." "Why?" "Just call him and tell him to pick us up okay?" "Alright. So that's what I did and after Roman cursing me out followed by some complaining, he agreed to pick us up. Once I hung up, I looked up and Sami wasn't next to me. "Dude, come on! I'm over here!" I looked over at the exit and Sami was walking out the door. I got up quickly and followed.

"We'll wait out here alright? Hey you wanna see your niece?" He went into his pocket and tossed a picture at me. I almost didn't catch it but once I did I looked at it. It was a picture of Sami and a little girl that looked just like him surrounded by dolls like they were having a tea party or something. "Nice tiara, Sami," I chuckled and he shrugged,"Dude, shut the fuck up. I owned that fucking tiara. I was a motherfucking princess that day." I laughed even harder shaking my head,"Who's kid?" "Mine, she's three." "Aw Sami is a daddy." "Good thing you're not. You'd lose your own fucking kid. Poor little guy will be cursing people out left and right, looking ugly as fuck just like his daddy." "SHE will be beautiful like Aj." Sami raised his eyebrows, surprised,"Oh, so are you admitting you're in love?" "Shut the fuck up, idiot." We both laughed. Sami and I had a very weird relationship. We could insult each other then laugh about it. "What's your idea?" I watched Sami light a cigarette. He blew the smoke in my face then laughed and said,"Basically, big Ro is taking us to see Aj whenever he shows up." "What? No." "Shut up, yes we are. You're gonna apologize and then she might explain why Phil was all up in her grill on the elevator. She probably kicked him in his nuts after whatever happened in the elevator." "But I don't feel like talking to her now." "Yeah I didn't ask you what you felt like doing."

Roman pulled up and rolled the window down,"How many times do I have to guide your ass home after getting drunk? It's two a.m. and we have a workout day tomorrow. Dammit, Dean." "WELLLLLL ITS THE BIG ROOOOOO!!!" Sami started singing the big show's theme song but with "ro" instead of "show" and I laughed way to hard at his singing. Roman tilted his head at him,"Sami? It's been awhile." "Hell yes, to long. Open the door." Sami hopped in the front, forcing me to be backseat charlie. That damn Sami. "Big Ro take us to the hotel then direct us to Ms.Lee's room please." "Last time he went to Aj's room he saw punk's pale ass." Sami turned to me and I put my hands up,"I saw Aj practically naked to." "That's my boy!" He high fived me then turned to Roman,"I got him this time, don't worry." Roman started the truck and shook his head,"I'm not sure if that's a good idea considering last time." "Roman, just trust me," Sami smiled.

Roman looked at Sami,"That's what I'm afraid of....fine. To Aj's hotel room we go."