The Luna's Last Choice

35. The beginning of an end.

"No to my extent" I rushed to explain "It wouldn't even be noticeable. I...I'm not as noticeable either, my mom is. I mean she's good at hiding it but you know I'm not...." I stopped when I realized I wasn't making any sense and Alex was staring at me with tensed jaws.

"Don't you dare bring my daughter in this" he gritted out emphasizing on 'my' "It's my helplessness that I can't do anything about her being with you now...." His gaze travelled to my bump.

"She is my daughter too" My tone rose a notch.

"She was until you made her watch her mother cheat on her father" he glared at me "I don't want to talk about that. I'll have my lawyer do the talking"

I took a deep breath and nodded "You are angry right now and aren't thinking straight. We will talk about it later"

"Later? When? When you have your lover for support" he barked out a sarcastic laugh "I was expecting another show you know. I'm surprised he isn't here at this moment."

He is. In this moment, he is standing at the edge of the forest near us, waiting for one wrong move from Alex. The tension in his body added with my own anxiety is driving me to the edge but I'm still thankful that he's considerate enough to give us the space.

"I was going to leave Bluewood" I said "The other day, he was here to tell me that I could leave. I was going to explain..."

"You need his permission to leave" he mocked and in that one moment I could see the vulnerable Alex. He masked it the next second.

"I know it'll be hard for you to understand but had I left without his permission, it would have been a chaos here" he rolled his eyes "He is the one who runs this town, his sanity is important for the people here. It could have destroyed the entire town. Or worse, he could have died" I whispered the last part mostly to myself shuddering at the thought of it.

"And you would have died with him?" the pain in his voice was back. He heard us that day.

"It's not what you think..."

"You never stopped loving him did you? He wasn't your first love, he is your only love"

I shook my head violently "I loved you, I still do" I choked "I don't know how to make you believe, if I could, I would have shown you my heart"

"Yet you will die with him"

"I will die for you without a second thought"

"For me" he muttered under his breath.

I frowned, what about that? I couldn't ask him what he meant by that so i remained silent. An uncomfortable silence followed.

"You ruined a decade of my life" his harsh words cut through the silence "I can't even complain can I? I got myself into this. It's not like I didn't know that I was the one at disadvantage in this relationship. I always knew there was a part of you that I could never have. But I thought that's how relationships are, it can't always be equal, one of us had to love the other a little more. I thought it was normal"

"I'll take any punishment you give" 

"Oh I will" he nodded bitterly "You don't have to ask for it. I'll make sure you feel every bit of what I'm feeling"

I smiled "I'll try not to complain"

"Where's the fun in that?" He raised a brow "I want to see the helplessness in your eyes as you beg"

"You can't see it now?" I asked looking at him in the eyes, baring my soul out for him to see.

He looked away "I don't trust what I see"