Piercing Eyes (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 29

The song above
~~~~~~~

I think I'm going to cry.

But I can't.

I can't cry, I have to stay put together.

Nobody wants to date somebody who cries everyday.

I looked up from my steering wheel and to Oscar's front door.

A week and a few days ago, I was in this same position but I wasn't expecting the outcome to be what it was. Then on Thursday, Oscar texted me that he's home for the hospital.

What if instead of over drinking, he overdoses? What if he doesn't want to talk to me? What if he's passed out or something? What if somebody of that degree is wrong?

No. None of that Cole. Be strong. Fight for your man.

My man?

Your man.

Okay.

"I can do this." I muttered to myself, turning off the car and walking to his front door.

How do I knock again?

First form your hands into a fist.

What after?

Then you raise your arm to like a 90 bend at the elbow.

Okay, got that down. What next?

Now reach forward and bang on the door twice.

Shit! I did it! I knocked on the door! Oscar is going to answer the door like any second and I'm gonna be so speechless.

What do I say?

"Cole?" Oscar asked confused. I cleared my throat and nodded my head. 

"I like you, a lot. I want to love you. But I have a lot of shit that has happened and makes me do stupid stuff. But I want to be with you. You don't know how I want to be with you. I love you." I blurted out. "Fuck. I just want to do whatever I can to make you like me. What ca-"

"You hurt me, Cole." Oscar said, his voice sounding so defeated and broken. I looked up into his eyes and noticed how cracked his green diamond eyes look like.

There were miscellaneous bandages on his face. Probably from the fall of knocking out.

"And I'm sorry for that-" Why does my heart hurt so much with guilt? And fear?

"It's too late-" Oscar started to say. Before he could say anything else, I took a page from the movies and stepped closer to him.

"Yes or no." I whispered, missing the way his hot breath fanned my face.

"Ye-no. No. No, Cole. I-I can't." Oscar whispered, stepping away. Before he could move much further, I gently grabbed a hold onto his wrist.

"I wasn't given that option." I blurted out, feeling the weight of the truth squeeze my throat. 

"What?" Oscar asked confused. I cleared my throat, forcing the truth up my throat.

"I-I wasn't given the option to say no." I said looking into his green eyes, needing them to be my anchor as I dove into memory lane. "About four years ago, it was one of my dad's girlfriend's son. He was training to be in the military, I didn't stand a chance."

"Wa-wait. Cole, what are you trying to say? That you were-" he cut himself off, not being able to physically say it.

It's okay.