Piercing Eyes (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 18

"Take me into your loving arms.
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars.
Place your hand on my beating heart."
~Ed Sheehan, Thinking Out Loud
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Looking at him in this state made me throw up.

Throw up and cry.

It isn't the best combination, especially with Oscar watching. He's been too nice.

"He's going to be fine." Oscar reassured me. I looked over at him and pushed myself off the toilet seat, turning on the facet to the sink.

"Shut up." I whispered, not wanting to hear it. Oscar stayed behind me in this tiny bathroom, waiting for me to crack or something.

Well I'm not. He's been in the hospital for the past week and in and out for the past few weeks.

He's not going to just die on me. He's going to be okay and we're all going to be okay. Things are going to go back to normal soon, I'm going to be angry at him and he's going to want my forgiveness. That's how it's always been.

He's a jerk that's too ignorant and oblivious for his own good. And I'm the son who's damaged. Not that he knows what happened, but there's not just any random reason why I'm angry at him.

Well I don't even know.

Now isn't the time to go all psychological. I don't want to come to some life altering conclusion. I don't want to and I'm not.

Right now is not the time to analyze life. It just isn't.

"You're going to break your hand like that." Oscar said from behind me, I looked down at my now whitened hands that were gripping onto the sink.

"Shut up." I said rolling my eyes, exiting the bathroom with Oscar closely behind. Mom was waiting outside and looked at me with a raised eyebrow when she saw who I was exiting with.

She was probably assuming the wrong thing.

"Your Dad is all alone in the room, better take the chance to talk to him before that devil of a woman goes in." Mom said walking past and into the bathroom.

Devil of a woman is the name Mom has been calling the girlfriend. Still haven't learned her name and I have no intention to.

The same goes for the daughter, her and her edgy outfits.

The mom is so clingy to Dad, she hasn't given me the chance to talk to him alone. She probably thinks I'm going to hurt him while he's in such a vulnerable state.

"Okay." I said walking towards Dad's room. Before I could enter in, Oscar grabbed my hand and turned me around. Quickly,I got out of his grasp and glared at him. "What?"

"Talk to me, other than saying what or shut up. I'm here for you-"

I glared at him, fury running through me.

My hands landed on his shoulders, pushing him against the hard cold wall of the hospital.

"I don't need to talk about anything because everything is going to be fine, that's what everyone's saying! My father's liver is failing and trying to find a donor fucking sucks. I'm not a match or eligible, he's dying and now we're stuck waiting for some stupid person to die and give up their liver. But I don't want to wait! Is that what you wanted to hear? Is that what you fucking wanted to hear?" I blurted out, my chest raising up and down.

I can't breathe.

Oscar stood unaffected by my violence.

"What can I do?" He asked gently, the softness of his voice was like a blanket over my anger, making me calm down.

What can he do?

Fuck.

That stupid fucking question again.

"Hold me, fuck." I whispered, feeling myself come vulnerable once again, all thanks to that stupid question Oscar always managed to ask me at the right time.

He stepped off the wall, without any fear of my violent anger, and wrapped his arms around my neck, pulling me into him.

Tears came out of me like a water fall, my heart's beating so loud and so fast that I thought he could hear it.

"I'm here." Oscar whispered into my ear, making my body shiver because of the sensitivity of my ears.

"I don't want to loose him. I hate him but I don't want to loose him. Not yet, I can't. It's not fair!" I cried into the top of his shoulder, my body rocked with the sob that escaped me.

Oscar put a hand in my hair, massaging my head soothingly, relaxing me. He raised onto his toes to press his body closer to mine.

It wasn't just about him and I anymore.

Our problems of what to do since I know he likes me isn't the main issue.

This is something bigger than us.

This is something bigger than life itself.

And that's death.

It's uncontrollable. You can't prepare for it.

No matter how hard you harden your shell, inside and out, it always cracks you.

"I'm not ready to loose him."

I still remember the good times, before everything happened, dad and I would go to the beach and he taught me how to swim.

Not just freestyle but also butterfly, breast stroke and back stroke.

It was so fun. Some of the best times in my life.

But then he started dating, not wanting to be a single dad anymore. The more women he dated, it felt like the further away I got.

"Everything hurts." I whispered when I ran out of tears. "Everything just hurts and I want everything to stop."

"I know. I know, it's okay Cole." He said reassuringly. His arms held me so securely, I don't think that I've ever felt more safe and warm.

Everything about him is perfect.

I don't think I ever want to leave his embrace.

It's so muscular and hard, I know for a fact I can lean on him all day and he won't break. But I think one of the best things is that I can do the same for him.

"Want to meet him?" I asked Oscar. This whole time he's been waiting outside for me and the minute I was outside, he'd follow me.

"Of course." He said with a smile. I smiled back and guided him to the room. Turning back around, I saw mom standing there with tears in her eyes and a hand over her mouth.

Whatever was in me said to keep on walking, that she wasn't sad.

She was proud.

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Hey guys! Hoped you enjoyed that! And voted, commented, and followed!

But yeah. Today, I literally didn't talk until lunch which is after 5th period. Sometimes I just get really bored and uninterested, so I don't talk.

I don't know. But yeah!

If I had to get a tattoo of anything, I'd probably do a heart on my sleeve aka on my shoulderish area.

Because the saying I wear my heart on my sleeve, it's a bit true in my case. There's an interesting story why but I'm really busy so I'm not gonna say it.

Anyways, adios!