Piercing Eyes (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 22

The song above.
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"You have to let me go." I heard dad say.

My eyes watered as I watched him fall off the cliff. My hands reaching out to catch him but he couldn't reach me. He was to far away. We were too far away.

He's falling down the cliff.

Slowly falling into oblivion.

"Dad!" I screamed, my heart falling down as well as my father. "Come back! No!"

Why? Why is he leaving me? Why is he leaving me here?

"You have to let me go."

"Dad! No! I'm not ready! Please no!" I cried, running off the cliff, but I wasn't allowed past the edge.

I pounded on this invisible glass that separated us.

The invisible glass that is keeping me from saving him.

"Dad!"

"Cole, Cole wake up!" Oscar yelled shaking me awake. I gasped, finally being able to breathe.

"Oscar." I looked at him, he was blurry. Mom was behind him looking at me, scared. "Mom."

"Honey are you okay?" Mom asked. I looked between the two of them. "What's wrong?"

"To-too much. I-I don't know." I cried shaking my head, my lungs closing up on me. "I don't know mom. T-there's too much wrong with me and I-I don't even know where to start. I-I don't know how to even say ho-how much is wrong with me. I-I don't want any-any-anything to be wrong with me!" 

"Is there anything I can do?" Oscar asked, looking at me with his emerald eyes. I whipped away my tears and shrugged.

"I don't know anymore." I cried shaking my head. Oscar wrapped his arms around me, kneeling on the bed. I cried into his arms, shaking my head.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I don't know what to say anymore.

How to speak. 

I don't know how to do anything anymore.

"It hurts so much." I cried, my heart on fire, my chest squeezed like it was inside a fist. "It hurts so much and I don't want to believe it's true." 

"I know baby, I know." Oscar said rubbing my back. I sobbed into his chest, my hands clenching onto his shoulders.

My heart burned from the sudden loss of everything around me. My legs shook on the bed as I tried to stand up.

"It hurts to much, make it stop! Make it stop!" I cried, not knowing how to make the sudden missing part of my heart go back to normal.  How to make this giant chunk in my heart and memories go away.

I just want this pain I'm feeling to go away.

This hurt.

This betrayal.

All of this fucking pain.

"It's too much." I cried shaking my head. I heard mom's crying in the back of my head. "Make it stop, please."

Oscar caressed my head, my hair, holding me together.

It's the fourth day since when he started staying with us and everyday since Dad's death I've been having these nightmares and panic attacks.

"It's all going to be okay, Cole. It's all going to be okay." Oscar whispered into my ear. I sobbed even harder, hoping with all of me that his words were true. "It's all going to be okay."

And every time I've had these episodes, he's always been there to whisper in my ear and hold me with his smaller arms.

"Everything is going to be okay."