Piercing Eyes (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 23

Song above
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I'm falling.

My legs shook as I walked towards the kitchen, opening the cabinet.

Mom and Oscar were both doing their own thing, having to return to their ordinary routines.

"Hey Freddie." I said feeding him. He looked up at me with his big eyes. I shook my head with a loose smile and looked over at the alcohol cabinet.

Inside was straight vodka.

I took the bottle and poured myself some.

"I shouldn't do this." I whispered to myself. But what do I have to loose?

I deserve whatever is given to me.

I took the shot and allowed my legs to give out, I fell to the ground.

"Freddie." I whispered, feeling like my lips were moving on their own. "How come the worst things always happen to me?"

He crawled onto my lap and licked my cheek. The door opened and Oscar walked in.

Oscar was about to call out when he noticed me sitting on the floor.

"What happened?" He asked walking over towards me and saw the bottle on the counter. "What did you do?"

I let out a weak laugh. "Nothing you haven't done before."

Oscar looked at me with darkness in his eyes. "Cole, you're going down a dangerous path."

"You're being a hypocrite! I've seen you drink during the day, you can't stand there and tell me not to drink! When you do the exact same thing!" I found myself yelling. "But we're different, you see. Because my dad is dead, I'll never see him again. Never! Fuck! While you can still see him! You can still see him! You can touch him! You can hold him! You can do everything you fucking what to with your dad! It's not fair!"

Oscar grew more angry as more words went out of my mouth.

"Take that back, Cole. You know that isn't true." Oscar said stepping closer to me. I let out a drunk sarcastic laugh.

"It isn't fair! It isn't fucking fair! You're rich, you have both of your parents, you have a nice home! You have money! You have everything you'd ever fucking with for!"

Oscar pushed me against the wall and stuck a finger in my face.

"Take that fucking back! You think I want all of this! You think it's nice to have all of this fucking money! You think it's nice to always come home to a fucking empty house! Empty, Cole!"

"You still have you're parents Oscar! My dad is dead! I'm never seeing him again!"

"I haven't seen my parents in almost a month! No phone call! No coming home as a surprise! They've never even told they fucking loved me!" Oscar screamed in my face. "Months! Cole! Fucking months! Your dad died loving you! Mine don't even want to see me!"

He cried, I cried.

"But mine is dead." I cried once again, falling to the ground. "And I'm left with an open wound in my heart that nobody can fucking see but I feel. I'm left with a black hole inside my heart with memories stained on my brain."

"And I'm left with a lonely house and parents who never even wanted me, not from the beginning and especially not know." Oscar cried, following me down to the floor.

I opened my eyes and saw redness surrounding his green eyes, making them look more vibrant than ever. His black hair covered his forehead as he looked down. Slowly, I reached forward for his hand and shook my head.

"I'm so sorry." I cried watching as he looked up at me, his lips red and tears running down his face.

"I'm sorry this is happening to you Cole, but I understand not having parents. They may be alive but they're still never fucking here. And that hurts." Oscar said using our interlocked hands to whip away his tears.

I followed his movements and pulled him closer to me. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. I don't know what to say anymore. I was jealous. I am jealous.

"Jealous of what?" Oscar asked looking into my eyes.

"Jealous of everything out there who is so fucking happy without feeling any real pain." I cried once again. "It's not fair."

I pulled him closer to me and wrapped my arms around him. The scheduled Florida rain poured behind us as we cried.

Freddie crawled in between us as we cried.

Our interlocked hands cupped behind my head as Oscar pulled himself closer to me. We leaned our foreheads against each other.

Desperately holding onto the thing that makes us feel most alive.