Thin Ice (Corey Crawford)

College Girl

Samantha

Corey leaves for a two week road trip away from Chicago and I'm left here feeling pretty alone. I have never had a real serious relationship, I mean I've dated before but I've never had to experience missing someone. Of course I used to be able to just go on the ice and forget about life for a while, but it's not that easy anymore.

But I wanted to make sure I was in the best shape I could possibly be in considering I haven't played a lot of competitive hockey but am expected to play in the Olympics for a few months. I'm gonna need all the help I can get so I decided to take a few days off from the hospital and head back up to Madison to my old college. My brother tags along even though he's committed to Michigan so he doesn't have to hear about me all the time. I can't say I blame him, following in someone else's footsteps can be hard, but I think he would have been just fine here. He won't be in college for that long and the time that he would be here he would be some great times. I had nothing but the best of memories and games here in the city, I really missed it.

After getting reacquainted with the campus I get out to the ice and I smile big. The memories hit me like a truck as I look around. I find my old hockey team on the ice working out and I let out a long sigh. I hate to admit it, but man it felt good to be back.

"Sammy! You made it" my coach Carol says as she smiles big. I hear a few girls gasp as I skate over covered in my pads and a old Wisconsin jersey. A few of mine were hanging up around here but this one I brought from home.

"I did! Really happy to be here" I say pulling her into a awkward hug. There was no good way to hug each other when I was covered in pads.

"Girls. As you all know this is Sammy. She holds every goalie record here for both men's and women's hockey and she's the first girl hockey player to ever play for the NHL. I could go on and on about her but it just won't do her justice. You all know who she is and what she did, no need for me to explain it" she says as I blush.

I say hi to everyone and take some pictures with the girls who wanted them. After catching up the girls I played with in my time here it was down to business. We do shoot outs and breakaway drills and I worked along the boards. Stuff that I've done a million times before and could do a million more before ever getting tired of it.

After their practice ends I grab my brother and meet up with some old friends. We go to our favorite diner on campus and order our food before catching up.

"So Miss Famous, how has life been treating you" my good friend Mandy asks.

"It's been pretty great. After my dad passed I never I thought I would be this happy around the game of hockey ever again, yet here I am" I shrug.

"Why is it that you're back" she wonders.

"My boyfriend reminded me that my dad didn't die for me to throw away everything we worked so hard for. That the only way he is really gone is if I stopped playing. Even though it's hard without him it will be harder to live without him and hockey. So he convinced me to give it a shot so now I'm in the Olympics" I say.

"You're dating that Blackhawk guy aren't you" my friend Sadie shuns. She was a Wild fan but I'm not sure she openly tells people that. As for me I was always a Blackhawk fan so we always gave each other a hard time when we played together.

"I am" I state proudly.

"Ohhh that's so exciting. What's he like" Mady asks and I giggle. The pure thought of him makes me so happy.

"What can I say, he's a goalie" I smile.

"So he's weird like you" she pieces together.

"Something like that. It just feels so natural, like we belong together just as we belong on the ice. He's been nothing but great for me and supports me even when I'm being stupid and don't deserve it. He never lets me settle for anything less than what is great and keeps my head in in the clouds. I'm really thankful for him. I would be a mess without him" I admit.

"Are you still nursing" my friend Bradley asks me. We had some classes together and he played men's hockey so we were pretty close. But he ended up staying in Madison to work at the hospital and I wanted to come back home.

"I am, and I love it. I always wanted to help people and make someone's life better. But I'm not sure how much longer I can take doing both of these" I insist.

"You will always have nursing Sam, you got your degree and interning over with so you don't have to worry about it. But hockey isn't forever, especially for a goalie. You know that. You need to take advantage of this and every other opportunity being shoved down your throat right now. I know you're scared and sad to let go of big parts of your life like nursing but all the best things come after you're uncomfortable. I promise you so much success is going to find you, I just hope you let it in" Mandy insists.

"I'm working on it. It's just so hard without my dad here, he had a answer for everything and without him here I just feel like life is one big question" I sigh.

"You also have the answers" she insists.

I look at my reflection in the glass beside me and I sigh. I came back here looking for anwers but I didn't feel any different. I just wanted to stop thinking about the fact that the one distraction I had from my problems was going to be gone for a while so it's just gonna be me. And for some reason I didn't feel like I was enough.

After eating dinner I grab my brother and we drive back home. He had a game tomorrow and I had to ice after taking some pucks today. So I get us home and he goes up stairs. I take a shower and stretch before laying in bed. I sit there and stare at the pictures on the wall. Every accomplishment I've ever had I had a picture with my dad the day I won it. All the medals and plaques and trophies. Every mvp and ERA award was hanging on my wall and my dad was there for every single one of them. Not a single picture of myself up there and that made me scared. Being alone made me scared.