Becky’s POV
What happened between Austin and Luke?
Is it my fault?
What did I do?
FUCK!
Why can’t I just remember?
Why did this happen to me?
Did I do something wrong to deserve this?
I feel tears stream down my cheeks. I wish I could just remember so I wouldn't look so fucking clueless. I see people look at me while I sit on the bench outside the cafeteria crying.
Can’t an emotionally unstable girl cry in peace?
For fuck sakes stop staring at me!
I hear rapid footsteps come to a halt next to the bench.
"Hey." I hear him say. I don't respond, I don't even look up, because I'm ashamed of my red eyes.
"Are you okay?" He asks.
Do I look fucking okay? I’m obviously not if I’m fucking crying. In public, no less. The fucking nerve you have to ask me if I’m okay, you fucking asshole. I just want someone to hold me while I cry out my emotions and frustration.
(A/N: Me tbh :/ ...)
Just as if he read my mind, his arm wraps around my shoulder and pulls me close.
I put my head on his chest and cried silently.
"Hey, everything's going to be okay." He kissed my forehead. I pull my head back from his chest and sniffle. I stand up.
"No. It's not going to be okay! I can't remember shit besides stupid fucking stars! And it frustrates the fuck out of me that I can't remember you or Luke or anyone else for that matter! I woke up in a fucking hospital in London of all fucking places! Why the fuck am I even here?! I don't even know who I am anymore!" I scream at him.
"You really want to who you are?!" He stands up and matches my aggression.
"What?! Who am I Austin?! Enlighten me on the subject because I obviously don't fucking know!" I shout at him in rage. His face is contorted in anger and he looks into my eyes and scans my faces. He sighs and the anger in his expression falls.
"You're my everything." He says quietly.
I stare at him weirdly.
"What?" I croak.
"Do you really want to know?" He sighs and sits back down on the bench.
Are you fucking kidding me?
I give him a stern look.
"Okaaay." He groans.
After literally an hour of him talking and fuckload of plot twists; I felt like the 'old me' was a heartless bitch.
Why would I do half the stuff I did?
Why would I mess up everything up with this guy?
And most importantly...
Why does he even care?
"And now I'm here...with you." He finishes.
"Wow." I say.
"Yeah... wow." he echoes.
I play with my fingers in my lap and focus solemnly on them.
"Why-" I sigh, unsure of how to ask. "Why do- I mean, Why did you love me?" I ask.
"I do love you. And I love you because...well, because you're the first person I've opened up to after years of being someone I'm not." He says. I look up at him and smile weakly then, I sigh.
"But, I lied to you and I hurt you so much..." I say.
"Yes. you lied. And yes, you hurt me. I should've forgot about you. Or at least tried to. I should've gave up. But I just couldn't do either of those things. My heart just missed you so much; it asked for you all the time. There was a point where you were the only thing I thought about and it hurt so much because I didn't see you. I tried to forget you, B. But I couldn't. I don't think I ever will. You hurt me so much, Beck. But, for those months I didn't have you I felt so lost. I was scared I lost you. And I made the decision to never have that feeling ever again." He says.
I’m not sure what I did to deserve this boy in my life…but I want to find out.
(A/N: Comment. Vote por favor. And don’t forget to smile because you’re worth it baby.
I love you guys! K. Bye.
~Luz)
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Manipulation >> Becstin
Fanfiction× Manipulative people do not understand the concept of boundaries. × They are relentless in their pursuit of what they want and they have no regard for who gets hurt along the way.
