Tried for Love (TSATD)

Chapter 14

Leah

There was a different force that led me.. Some renewed strength that moved my legs. The coldness of the wooden floors underneath my feet constantly snapped me back to reality, and as unbearable my reality was becoming, I had a reason to continue.

A true reason that overcame the pain, that kept me moving and in some ways pushed my mind on the right track. I had lost a lot but there were things to handle and things to think of.. It was I that was left to do so; that was the last one standing.

Stopping for a second, I hesitated whether I knew exactly what I was there for, and whether I was even in front of the right door. But it was correct. It was Gabriel Valentine's home office I stood in front of.

And one last time, I pushed away the toxic thoughts that swirled through my mind; tried breathing out the pressure that stubbornly weighted over my chest. Keeping the tears to myself was never a problem. Having spent a great deal of time learning how to, it was simply no longer the way I grieved.

There were still things I wished to discuss with Valentine, however. And I held myself pretty good that day to dare walk over to his office once the night fell and knock on his door with all the little strength I had in my limbs.

After I heard that 'come in', I was reassured that it was, in fact, true that Valentine didn't waste a minute of the day away from his office. The butler had informed me that he sometimes even stayed late to finish up whatever he had. And the night had already fallen, which suggested it was way past his working hours. Yet he was in there.

  I stepped in and was met with the man that just the previous night had saved my life. There were not enough thank yous for that, and I no longer wanted to bother with words. I had sworn to myself I would return the favor, even though it wasn't exactly an easy favor to return.

Behind the desk across the large room, with hands pressed over it and his eyes intent on some papers laid across, stood Gabriel Valentine.. Someone I had grown rather used to lately.. As much as to not feel even the slightest intimidation around.

From his towering height, or the burliness of his figure.. The mere strength his posture held, or even the little frowns that could easily have one's blood run cold in fear. Had I gotten so used to him really? It was not a good idea to get used to anyone lately. People I was associated most of the time ended up dead.

"Leah."

With only a little question in his voice, and a lot of deepness in that tone that rather suggested some demand, he straightened up and left me wondering for a second.. Who worked standing up in the office? Over the desk as if he was inspecting a battle field map.. Valentine, apparently.

"Hi," I managed, closing the door behind me. My voice had gone awfully quiet, and the mere thought of the reason I was there weakened it. "They told me that you work at this hour.. But, um— I haven't seen you in some time, and there are things I've been meaning to ask you.."

"What is it?"

And soon I learned that such way of knitting his brows closer together was a way of expressing simple concern.. It was a way of reading me more closely. He was rounding the table before I could say another word, and—

The simple thought of him closer that I felt relieved at. He had saved my life, but the last thing I wanted was to see a forever savior in him.

"You said there would be funerals and that I couldn't attend. I understand that, but—" I realized I was holding my breath.. Could it be that I had lost so many people and never attended a single funeral? Absurdness. "You never said who would, and when those funerals will be held, and where?"