I Am Not Nothing

Chapter Four

Christmas came around all too quickly. I've tried my hardest to become a better person, but my hate for that Pathetic Potter only got stronger. My anger towards anyone who even remotely helped Potter, aware of it or not, was released onto them. I dispised the Weasel boy. I loathed the filthy mudblood girl. I never had a liking for anyone that wasn't a Slytherin.
I woke up in the bedroom in my father's office. I walked over to my light switch and turned on the lights. I wasn't blinded by the light, but my eyes did hurt a little after the lights lit up the room. I walked over to the side table with the picture. I opened the drawer and took the picture out. I smiled when I saw the picture again.

"Good morning, Mum. Good morning, Auntie Trix." I whispered so my father wouldnt hear. 

I put the picture back and I went over to the vanity. I looked at my messy hair in the mirror. My brown eyes looked black. Like, my pupils were so over dialated that I couldn't see my irises, but my irises were just so dark that they looked black. I pulled my messy hair into a ponytail at the back of my head. I put my bracelet on and adjusted my necklace. I walked over to my wardrobe and opened it. I had recently been staying with my father, so I had more outfits in the closet than the beginning of the year. I took out my jeans and forest green long-sleeve shirt. I matched them with my black flats and the cloak that matched my father's. I walked out of my room and walked into main part of my father's office. 

"Good morning, father." I said to him, sitting in the chair across from him.

"Good morning, Lily." He said to me, not looking up from the many papers in front of him.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"Grading essays from my second years. I'm increadibly dissapointed in them. I think you could write a better assignment on wolfsbane versus monkshood." He told me.

"Of course. They're the same plant that also goes by the name of Aconite. It is toxic and it poisons werewolves and is mainly used to repel them. It is suggested not to be touched or ingested by people and should be handled with the protection of gloves." I said to him.

"I'm glade someone listens to my lessons." He said.

I nodded, looking around at the many potion bottles, text books and other school related things. Remembering my mother, I held the ravenclaw charm on my necklace. I remembered the matching bracelet in the side table that I promised myself I wouldn't touch. I remembered my mother's smile in the picture. I remembered how much I looked like her.

"What are you thinking about?" My father asked, looking up from his students' assignments.

I looked up at him, not letting go of the necklace.

"Just about how grateful I am for friends like Daco, Goyle and Crabbe. They've been through almost everything that happened this year with me. All the times I've acted like a child. And yet they still stayed with me. Not many people do that." I said to him.

He glared at me, staying silent for a minute.

"You're lying to me. Try again." He said to me.

I stayed quiet. I didn't look at him.

"Do you understand that I can look into your mind at any time and see any memories you have?" He asked me.

I looked at him, "But you don't, right?" I asked him, worried.

I didn't want him to know that I knew what my mother looked like.

"I do. And I know you're trying to keep things that you dont want me to see. I knew I should have removed that picture from the side table." He said to me.