Me in a gang? No, I'm in a family

Chapter 9: she's taking the piss

Like 2 minutes of Eli trying to help me gets us nowhere, I know hes trying his best but it isn't helping and I can see his face grow more with worry every second, then Jasper comes to his aid, but unlucky for everyone Jasper knows he cant do anything, he has never seen me have a panic attack before.Eli then looks to him, shocked "You're her brother. She must have done this when she was little" jasper sighs in defeat, "There's nothing I can do" I hear another person run in to my room and push Eli out of the way, "You lot aren't any help, give her space you muppets" I feel his presence next to me and he hold my hand close and brings it to his chest, placing it on his heart, "hey, listen to my heart beat, breathe through your nose and out through your mouth, easy don't rush it, you're okay, nothing can hurt you, you're safe here"
"There you go, easy" Ajax coos the first time in years he's ever felt this close to a person, but he understands why it was this way for them both, and why it was so easy for him to help her.
Ajax pov
I hear the scream come from about 3 doors down, Dahlias room, I don't even know whats happening before I hear Eli rush into his room followed by Jasper and the others, but I can already tell they wont be able to help what's happening to her, I suddenly realise that when we were in Mantian, she started developing anxiety and panic disorder, which is what makes her scream and gain a panic attack; that's probably it. She's having a panic attack.
I rush in as soon as I manage to put pants on, and run to her room, where I do in fact see the other crowding over her like an animal in a zoo, she's petrified an confused, but most importantly, she isn't breathing, I push the others out of the way and quickly hold her hand, quietly telling the others to shut up before I take her hand and place it on my heart, I know what helps her, as I've done it many times before, but she doesn't realise that, because she thinks I'm just Ajax. after I help her, I make sure to stay with her and keep her company while she tries endlessly to sleep, but soon after it doesn't work I take her to my room as my bed is probably warmer than hers is and she needs a change of scenery.
I choose to carry her because the second she stands up she goes to fall back down, collapsing in my arms she manages to sleep while in the warmth of my room and my bed.
I grew up without any parents. They left when I was 3. I moved in and was raised by my nan.
But when she died, I was only 7, I went to a foster home. Then I was recruited the same way Dahlia was, and so many others. I was 16 when a 14 year old Dahlia came to the warehouse we were stationed in. We were best friends, we did everything together; train, eat, wash up, and eventually, we dated, but that came to a crashing end once she was forced to 'kill me' as an act to show that she could kill somebody close to her if she needed too. Luckily, we all knew she was going to kill me, after all, that's what we were all trained to do. She was one of the best, but even though we knew it was coming, I was still seriously injured in her attack, I managed to stay alive and well, left because Dahlia needed to be the best she could, and like Master said, I was her distraction, I was making her feel things that weren't meant to be for assassins, we couldn't have any distractions in our life, and that's what happened with us.
I realise that I ruined her, as much as she made me a better person, I had to let her go.