Quiet Backstage: A Series of Lippa Oneshots

The News

To everyone who gave me a request,

Hello! I'm working on your oneshots, so I apologize if they take forever, I just want to get them perfect for you guys!

That's all! Enjoy this story!

-Katherine
Xx. ❤

~~~~~

There was an unusual tension when I walked into the Richard Rodgers for our double header show day. I kind of ignored it as I got ready in dress and makeup for the matinee.

I went to an empty hallway to warm my voice up as per usual, but I still felt like the air was laced with tension. I was wondering how I was even singing. When my castmates walked past, it felt like their gaze lingered on me just a bit longer than usual. It was suffocating. I choked it all up to my nerves and kept going with my warm up. I was always nervous before any show, and this was no different.

"Hey, Eliza!" Daveed called after me as I started down the staircase to take my mark in the wings, ten minutes to curtain. He always did that; it was a mannerism he'd picked up from Lin. He calls all of us by our character name(s). Lin started it because he said it, "kept is in character", and then the whole cast just kind of picked up on it here and there.

"What's up, Lafayette?" I turned around.

Once I turned around, his smile - his confidence in whatever he needed to say - seemed to fall. "Just...good luck tonight." Daveed put a bright smile back on.

"Thank you. You too." I replied back, hiding the fact that his hesitation was scaring me. Nonetheless, I shook it off and went to the wings.

~~~~~

I sat down in my dressing room at intermission and took a deep breath. For whatever reason, Eliza was kicking my butt. Dances seemed harder, and my nerves didn't seem to dissipate like they normally did when that curtain rose.

"You alright, Liza?" Renèe sat down beside me. "Drink some water and breathe slower and deeper than you think you need to. That'll help." My goodness, did I love Renèe? She was a seasoned veteran in this industry, on both stage and screen, and she was always giving us all tips to keep ourselves in tip top shape. I nodded and sipped my water from a bottle I had chilling in a mini fridge in our dressing room. As I started pulling on my other dress, changing my hair, and fixing my makeup, I started altering my breathing patterns to Renèe's advice, and in all honesty, it was helping me calm down a little.

And in what felt like the blink of an eye, Jasmine went from Peggy to Maria, and we were all back on stage.

And in what felt like an even shorter time, I had been cheated on, lost my stage son, my stage husband got shot in a gun duel, and we were all back to our real selves and taking our bows.

~~~~~

After bows, I collapsed onto the small sofa in my room, sighing as I put my head in my hands. I was still in my final Eliza dress, but I didn't care in the moment. I jumped when there was a knock at my door, but didn't look up. "Come in!" I called, thinking it was just one of my Schuyler Sisters.

"Hey, Phillipa, can we talk for a moment?" I looked up when I heard Lin's voice. A wash of worry fell over me when he addressed me by my full name, that rarely happened.

"Oh, yeah, sure. Take a seat, what's on your mind?" I scooted over on the sofa so that Lin had a space to sit.

"Um, I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm going to be resigning from the Cast on July 9th. I-I'm sorry that I didn't tell you earlier...and I'm really ashamed for doing this, but I told the rest of the cast last night." I was out last night on an emergency.

"Oh." I said and looked down at my knees.

"Pippa, are--" Lin began.

"How could you not wait to tell everyone at one time?!" I shouted. "And--And we're all contracted until the 22nd! Why would you cut your run earlier than what it is?!"

"Pip, I'm so sorry, I just...I didn't know how to tell you, I...I mean you're my stage wife, and I love you both on and offstage so much that I didn't want to break your heart just yet." Lin sighed. "I-I know that this wasn't your best show, I could tell from the start of Alexander Hamilton. Pip, I could feel your hands shaking in Helpless. It's just...I just--"

"Lin, the tension in this building over the news that you stalled on telling me was what made me so nervous. I felt sick to my stomach during Satisfied! I was scared I was going to throw up the whole time, I understand it wasn't my best show, and I am already immensely disappointed in myself over it, and..." I stopped and shook my head. My head bowed down as a couple of tears started to fall. My stomach dropped; I just yelled at my boss. The thought of that made even more tears start to smear my stage makeup, and Lin slowly walked up to me and wrapped me in a hug. "Lin, I have to change out of this costume, please." I said as he hugged me, trying to avoid this whole thing. I hated crying in front of my castmates, unless it was onstage, but that isn't really me crying, is it? It's really my character that's doing the crying.

"Alright." He whispered, unwrapping his arms from the hug. "Go get changed, take all that makeup off. Come see me when you're done, okay?" I nodded.

"Thank you." I whispered.

"Of course." Lin said as he closed my dressing room door.

~~~~~

I did get back into street clothes and washed my face before going back to Lin's dressing room. I knocked on the door and Lin opened immediately, almost like he was anxiously awaiting her to show up. "Hi." He stated, flat and quiet. "Come on in." He gestured to the room behind him. I slowly walked in and just kept my head down.

I slowly lifted my head as Lin closed the door and stepped closer to me. "I'm so sorry for yelling at you and talking back, it was incredibly selfish and unprofessional of me. I completely understand if you go ahead and--"

"Pippa, stop, please." I looked at Lin with a questionable look on my face. "We've both done enough apologizing, it's okay. I forgive you. Now, come here, just..." Lin kissed my forehead as he pulled me back into a hug. I was actually comfortable with this one now that I wasn't in a bunch of makeup and in a dress. After a few deep breaths in each other's embrace, we separated, and both dried the few stray tears in our eyes.

"I wish you the best for wherever this life takes you past this show. You're going to do great things, Lin-Manuel Miranda. And you should be immensely proud of yourself for this empire you've built from the ground up." I said, a smile breaking onto my face.

"Thank you so much, Phillipa. I love you."

"I love you too." I looked down then back up once more. "And listen, July is forever away, let's make this run the best ever while it lasts."

"That sounds like a great idea."

~~~~~

A/N: Wow, that's a bit lengthy. Well, I hope you all liked this one! Have an amazing day or night! Love you all! Xx. ❤

Also, P.S. thank you for over 1,000 reads on both books! That's incredible! You all are so amazing!

All of my love,
Katherine