Chapter 11

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I jerk awake. I blink and turn to see Envy's worried face, Fang also stands in the doorway. I'm breathing heavily and have tears streaming down my face.

"Did I wake you up?" I ask.

"It's OK, my room's right next door and Fang was getting a drink when we heard you. Are you alright?"

"Yeah," My throat feels parched, "Sorry, I'm used to this."

"You had a bad dream," Fang states, he looks worried.

I turn to him, "I did but I'm OK I promise, please go back to bed."

He leaves but only after Envy gives him a nod.

"Envy I'm sorry, we only just met and I'm already waking you up." I look at the clock its midnight.

"You have nightmares a lot don't you?" He asks.

I look down, "Envy please just go back to bed, I'm sorry for waking you up but I'm OK."

He grasps my chin and forces me to look at him, "You're covered in sweat, hyperventilating, crying and bleeding you're not OK."

I look at my arms, I've scratched myself to the point of bleeding. I swallow. I can't argue with him. Usually, when Mum came to me I convinced her to go back to bed.

"Tell me what happened?" He says gently.

"No, you should..."

"Alex," I look at him he's completely serious, "It's fine... talk to me."

"A couple of years ago I tried to kill myself," He watches me carefully, "Lilith saved me but ever since then I have nightmares at least once a week where everyone I care about or even just meet, start saying things. Horrible things about me, it gets really bad and I start to scratch myself so I can wake up but I guess I heal too fast now. Sometimes it's different like I'm trapped in a box with mirrors that shows outside but no one can see or hear me no matter how I scream."

My arms have completely healed aside from the marks on the inside of my wrist, the scars I'll have forever.

I continue, "Actually I've always had nightmares, really bad ones that leave me screaming. When I was young my Dad left us and then died when he was coming home to make up with my Mum. My cousin got hit by a car right in front of me when I was eight and a teacher had a heart attack that same year while in the middle of class. I started to get bullied and I got an eating disorder where I threw up anytime I even touched food. My Mum stopped coming home and I was alone a lot. I got really depressed and at one point I got beaten up by a gang that was passing through town simply because I was there and no one else was, I was in the hospital for three weeks."

"Alex..." His voice was soft.

That wasn't even all of it but I felt that was enough, "I've had a pretty bad life to tell you the truth. But Lilith saved me and helped me get better, I started eating more, my bully's apologised and for weeks they tried to make it up to me and some of them even became my friends. Things got better but the one thing that never changed or got even worse was the nightmares, Lilith would sleepover a lot because it helped to keep them away but she couldn't stay with me all the time so."

I yawn and he smiles, "Alright how about I stay with you for a while and maybe next time I'll tell you about me as a bedtime story."

I smile, he crawls under the covers when I tell him to and I snuggle up to his chest. I rest my arm on his bicep and he plays with my hair. Eventually, we both just end up falling asleep and I have a dreamless sleep the rest of the night. I don't know why but he relaxes me.

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