Soulmate

Chapter 60: Raging Doubts

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Grace

    Slowly, and steadily things were starting to get better for Alexander and I. There was only one meltdown at our party, and that was my own fault. I was overthinking and I was overwhelmed by the number of people. His friends are so different than mine, but I've grown to love them, and I forgot how to hang out with my own friends. There was so much going on, and he kept getting on my case about eating. Everything seemed to come crashing down on me, but I got over it after I talked a little bit with Becca.

    When I came back outside, I tried to make sure I talked to everybody, and made sure everyone was having fun. The day seemed to speed by, and I helped Alexander clean up, knowing that his parents wouldn't be home until tomorrow. I was washing dishes while he took out the garbage, but as soon as he came in to help me, we talked a little bit about my mental breakdown, and he immediately felt bad.

    He turned off the water, grabbed my waist, and pulled me into a hug. "Grace, please, please tell me next time I do something so stupid. If I ever hurt you, you have to tell me," he pleaded, running his hand along my back.

    I nodded my head against his shoulder while biting down on my lip because I didn't want to hurt him either. "Alexander...I'm sorry...I didn't mean to. I'm going to be okay. We're going to be okay. I just was overwhelmed," I murmured, knowing that I was partially lying. I couldn't keep up this vicious cycle. I needed to change.

    He held me tight, and kissed the top of my head and that's when I knew everything was really going to be okay. I wasn't going to be sent away, and this wasn't a mistake. We were meant to be together with or without the matching system.

    Like I said, everything was finally going the way we wanted it to; Alexander and I hung out whenever we were both available. I kept my job at the diner, which meant some nights he was available, but I wasn't because I was working a dinner shift. Sometimes on those nights, he would come into the diner simply to bother me, but it was rare.

    Tonight was one of those odd exceptions. I was washing tables when Alexander came in, he was barely getting off from the laboratory and wanted to see me before he went to the moving job. Sometimes he told me that thinking about me was the only way he was able to bear the labor job. I smiled at him, and instantly put my rag behind the counter. I couldn't stop smiling at him as he sat down at the bar in his grey button up shirt. Even though I couldn't see his muscles, I still knew how amazingly sexy he was. "Hey, Alexander," I greeted and I leaned against the bar. I never treated him like a customer, and as soon as my coworkers found out he was my soulmate, they started relentlessly teasing him and treating him like part of the family.

    He gave me that adorably cheesy smile that sent butterflies fluttering around my stomach. How could one person affect me so much? "Hi, beautiful," he shot back, a new game he liked to play. Whenever I looked truly awful, he had to compliment me. My hair was up in a greasy ponytail and I was too lazy to do my makeup, but I always accepted his compliments.

    This time I rolled my eyes and then took his order to our cook who gave me a snide comment about the fact that I should be cooking for my man. I laughed at his jokes and hurried back out. Luckily, Alexander had missed the rush of people, we were slowing down, and the other waitress, Tammy, was helping one last table before her shift was over.

    "So, Grace," he began, and I couldn't stop thinking about how much I love hearing him say my name. "I was thinking that we could start looking at houses. Your dad and I were talking and he said you guys have enough for the wedding. So since I don't have to contribute to that, I definitely have enough money to get us into a decent house. Even if we have to have a house payment, I think it'll be doable. Plus, my internship is over at the laboratory, so I'll be getting my first paycheck next week. Everything is going so great, but I wanted to leave it up to you. Whenever you're ready." He was so nervous as he spoke, he barely even looked at me, and I knew it was because he was afraid of rejection.

    How could I reject my sweet soulmate? Well, easily, but now I couldn't stand to break his heart. I could do this small thing for him, right? If it didn't scare me so much, then the answer would've been an easy yes, but instead I found myself gulping. "Uh...yeah, we can. Were you wanting to get moved in without me before the wedding?" I asked, noticing how awful the word 'wedding' felt as it tumbled out of my mouth.

    He smiled a little, probably trying to comfort me even though it wasn't working. "Yes, I would like to get the house ready before the wedding. It can be my project while you're working on the wedding planning," he suggested and I noticed how he was studying my features. More than likely, he probably wanted to make sure I wasn't freaking out.

    I was trying to push it all down, but I was having a little bit of a breakdown. Was he thinking about proposing soon? He has barely started working at the laboratory, and I wasn't sure if I was ready yet. We were moving so much faster than all of our friends. Sharla and Patrick were only living together, Becca and Tyson were going to college together, and Chase and Alannah were moving away, so they could go to college together. Now we are talking about marriage, kids, and a house. "You're not going to help me with the wedding?" I asked, ignoring my raging doubts and fears.

    He raised an eyebrow, but he smiled a little bit at me as if he was amused by my silly question. "Well, usually the guy doesn't get to do anything, but if you really want me to, then of course I will," he offered just as the bell rang alerting me that his food was done. Instead of answering, I hurried to the window, grabbed his burger and fries, and sat them down. He began eating, and I wondered if he had noticed that I was avoiding answering.

    "So when do you want to look at houses?"

    Instantly, he looked up with a playful smile on his face. "Nothing is set in stone yet, but hopefully soon. Maybe this weekend, or next?" he offered, shrugging his shoulders like it wasn't a big deal. And I really hope it wasn't.