Chapter 46: Simply Kinda Hoping

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Grace

    No one talked about my visit to the Genetic Anomaly Laboratory, instead we sat in awkward silence. Everyday it seemed like the elephant in the room was growing larger, suffocating us all, but we continued to ignore it. Life was easier that way, no one needed to know that I could have possibly been mutated. My parents didn't need to know everything. I tried to be a good girl, and tried to reach my target percentages. I continued to go to the gym, to workout, and to eat less. My weight kept dropping, but I didn't care, I didn't care about anything anymore. I cared about meeting my soulmate, but I don't know if or when that will happen. Maybe I won't even love him.

    I shook my head at the thought, I couldn't be thinking that way because I would love him no matter what. Everything seemed to be going wrong, and I didn't want to deal with it anymore. Sometimes all I wanted was to run away and never meet my soulmate, but I know that isn't right. I know I want to meet him because I'm sure he's great, but nevertheless something inside me made me want to run away from everything. In flight or fight, I will always choose flight.

    Nothing was going right. A few days after my visit to the lab, Becca decided to invite me over. My mother had told her that my grandma passed away, so naturally she felt sorry for me. I wasn't planning on telling her, and I had been avoiding her because I knew it would be hard for me to hear about her and her soulmate or Chase and his soulmate. She invited me over to hangout with Chase and a bunch of other people, including their soulmates, but I didn't reply. This time she came to my house and forced me to go with her.

     When we got to her house, I saw that she had baked brownies and had ice cream in the freezer for us. "Okay, I'm kind of glad I came," I murmured as I helped myself to her amazing brownies. She was always great at baking and I was jealous.

    "Well, I thought we really needed a girls day, and you've been avoiding me, so I figured brownies and ice cream would tempt you," she shot back with a smile on her face and a mischievous glint in her eyes.

    I stuffed the brownie into my mouth as she wandered over to grab me a bowl of ice cream, and I grabbed another brownie as we headed towards the couch. She was putting in a movie and I settled in, sitting on my feet. "So we really haven't talked in awhile," I commented and then I chewed on my lip when I realized that it was my fault and she'd let me know that.

    She glared at me as she settled in her spot next to me, grabbing her ice cream bowl off the coffee table. "Yeah, that is completely your fault. I tried calling you, but you ignored me even though I know you need to talk to me," she shot back, glancing over. I knew she was trying to be careful with her words because she didn't want to hurt me more.

    I snorted as I stabbed at my own ice cream, suddenly I wasn't very hungry. "Sorry about that, life has been kind of hard lately, and I just haven't wanted to be around a bunch of people with their soulmates," I answered, and then I started digging into the ice cream. It didn't taste as good as I wanted it to, actually I didn't even want it anymore.

    She chewed on her lip, but when she looked at me, she instantly put a smile on her face; she was avoiding something. "Well, talk to me then. How are you?" she asked as she started shoveling ice cream into her mouth.

    The movie was already playing, but neither of us were watching it, so I sighed. "My grandmother died and I still haven't met my soulmate, how do you think I feel?" I asked, listening to the hostility in my voice. Then, I watched Becca's face fall. "I'm doing better, I'm sorry. I've had a rough week." Wow, it's only been a week? It feels like it's been three years.

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