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izumi sat staring at the lyrics of what is love? by twice. this was her only solution at the moment to understand what her father had said, but even after reading lyrics of every love song she could think of, she still couldn't label what her emotion towards felix was.
she sighed, setting her phone down on her desk, staring out the window next to her. she was the only student in the classroom right now. she had arrived earlier than usual because she couldn't sleep.
all her thoughts were the same. what are her feelings for felix? is she really going to die? should she stop seeing felix to survive? would it be worth surviving if felix isn't with her? how long does she exactly have?
it was an internal battle, and neither side could win. izumi had no idea what to do. she couldn't find a solution by herself, there was too much bias within her decisions. she needed a third party to help her make a decision.
or five more.
-
"you can see what now?" minho questioned.
"how are you sure you only have less than a year?" changbin cut in.
"why did you keep it a secret?" hyunjin jumped in.
"why is seungmin not surprised?" jeongin pointed out. the four boys turned to seungmin who awkwardly sat staring at the ceiling, avoiding their penetrating gaze.
"seungmin already knew. i told him." izumi explained.
"how does seungmin already know?" hyunjin questioned. he couldn't help but feel a sense of betrayal. the girl called park izumi was his best friend since middle school, except he really knew nothing about her.
"well..." izumi sighed, nibbling on her bottom lip. she hadn't told anyone about the night her mother and brother died. but after building up the courage, she told them everything. from how she saw their timer to calling seungmin in a crying mess.
"izumi..." minho was sat next to her, rubbed her back. "do you want to take a break? you don't have to push yourself like this." izumi blinked back her tears, shaking her head.
"no i need you guys to know how i'm feeling. i've held back everything because i was selfish. i had a greed of being there for everyone else, but forgot that people could be there for me too." izumi sighed, fiddling with her fingers as she stared down at her lap. "i just- i don't want to die." she confessed, closing her eyes. her lips quivered as she could feel her eyes watering.
the five boys glanced at one another. they didn't know what to say. it was clear to them that izumi sees her fate as inevitable. however for them, they weren't able to understand the exact situation that was going on. they just knew that izumi's timer was decreasing, and felix's was increasing.
"are you sure it's decreasing when you're with felix?" changbin questioned. izumi sniffled, opening her eyes and lifting her head to look over at him.
"what do you mean?" she questioned.
"i mean, yes your years are decreasing and his are suddenly increasing, but are you sure it's definitely increasing because of your years? or is it because of something else?" he questioned. "maybe you could find out what it is and see if you could use that to increase your own." he explained.
izumi nodded her head, surprised that changbin had said something smart. "who told you that you only had less than a year left?" he repeated his first question.
"my father, he said that the same thing happened to him with my mother, but in the end she still committed suicide." she explained. changbin nodded, looking deep in thought, as if he was reluctant to say something.
"could he have been lying? or maybe not lying, but maybe he didn't fully understand the situation himself. maybe there's something else to it that's missing. if your mother still did what she did, maybe your years weren't given away. it could've been something else." he explained.
izumi didn't fully understand what he meant, but she kind of got the gist of where he was coming from. she didn't even think of something like that in the first place, so she was grateful that she did tell them.
"i'll look into it."
-
"please, just check." izumi begged, following her father around the house.
"izumi, i'm not letting you risk any more months, what if he takes more than you think?" her father questioned.
"and what if he doesn't? please, i just need you to take a quick glance and i swear i'll stay away from him after." izumi bargained. her father sighed, shaking his head.
"fine, i'll see it." he agreed, although he wasn't very keen on it. unlike izumi who couldn't help the bright smile on her lips.
"good, because i invited him and seungmin over for a movie night." she grinned, hurrying out of the room before her father could get angry. he could only sigh in defeat, staring after his daughter.
