the Reckless and the Brave (Sequel to Scream, to be Heard)

This Pain is just Too Real

I woke up the next morning to Alex shaking me. "I take it you like the Mac?" He said. I laughed and took the Slimfast bottle he handed me with a nod.

"You might want to take a shower before we go to the studio. This place has great water pressure," Rian said, walking out of the bathroom.

"Oh, by the way, I told Hopeless you said you'd record a three-song EP. Two of them are covers," Alex said. "Be thinking about those covers, hun." He took a swig of Bud Lite from the fridge and walked over to give me a hug and tried to kiss my temple, but I refused.

"Um, no. You have beer breath and morning breath," I said. I picket out some clothes and shut the door to the bathroom, still steamy from Rian's recent shower. I took a shower and then pulled my hair into a ponytail, letting it dry into a mixture of curls. I walked out back into the main room after pulling on some jean shorts, a ratty old football-style Ravens t-shirt, and my favorite purple Vans. "Okay. I've decided that for the covers I'm going to do For the First Time by the Script, Hello by Evanescence, and whatever original song they decide to make me do because I could care less," I said.

"Good songs," Alex said. "Especially the first one. Except you're changing the bad words in it."

"Yes, mother," I said as I rolled my eyes and checked Facebook on my phone and posted that I was going to the studio today while Rian called a taxi to the studio. In a few minutes we were getting out of the taxi and I found out we were at the legendary Abbey Road Studios, and that the piano I would be using for the songs was a piano that basically everyone that had recorded at Abbey Road had used. i literally wanted to faint. Especially because the Beatles had used that piano in the recordings of basically every album. We were introduced to the producer, who had worked with everyone from NeverShoutNever on What is Love to Kanye West. I was in studio two, which is where the Beatles recoded. I nearly died, considering that the Beatles are my favorite band on the planet. First Alex and I recorded the vocals to Lullabies. I stepped into the room and drank some water before Alex handed my the note, but I didn't need it. I knew the note's content by heart. I put on my Beats, and the guitar started playing. I took a breath, and started speaking into the microphone behind the pop filter.

"Alex, Heather, Mom, Dad, Sommer, whoever is reading this. I'm sorry. I had to do this. None of you understand. I love you all, but what do I get? I'm ignored, like I'm not even there. I'm silently pleading that one of you guys will notice me. But nothing will stop me from doing this.

But remember that all of you are good people. Alex, don't beat yourself up about this. It was my decision, and all of you are so much better without me. Just promise me that you'll always keep Heather safe. She's honestly the reason I didn't kill myself before this. You're a good kid, don't forget that.

Heather, what can I say? You're the best sister I could ever ask for. I knew that my time was ticking long before you were born, and when you were I felt like I could live again. But inside I knew I couldn't. Just keep being the beautiful, smart, amazing girl that you are. And don't forget me, and don't ever forget that you're the most beautiful kid I've ever seen.

Sommer, I'm sorry I resorted to this after I promised I wouldn't. You don't need me. You still have Alex and Heather, even though they're halfway around the world.

Mom, Dad, I'm sorry.

The world is so much better without me, and your lives will be much better without the burden of me on your shoulders. I love you, even though none of you love me back.

Tom," I recited from my memory. Then Alex started singing the first verse. I joined in on the chorus, and our voices together sounded amazing. Then I started the second verse, letting every emotion I had out. "Forever's never seemed so long; As when you're not around it's like a piece of me is missing. I could have learned so much from you, But what's left now? Don't you realize you showed this family a world of pain? Can't you see there could have been a happy ending we let go?" Then Alex and I joined in on the chorus and skipped the un-recorded gang vocals, which we would record later, and finished the song. We looked to the producer, who was shocked.