the Reckless and the Brave (Sequel to Scream, to be Heard)

Going Under

I turned around and saw the person I dreaded the most. Adam. I instantly jumped almost a foot, running away as he just followed casually. Why wouldn't he go away? He had almost killed me. Now I just bet he's actually going to kill me. "Whoa, get away from my sister, you douchebag," Alex said, stepping in front of me. I fell back into Zack's arms as the two started shouting, Alex about how he would kill him if he touched me again, and Adam about how I was supposedly in love with him and that hurting me was a mistake. Then I watched as Alex raised his fist and punched Adam so hard that he fell down, and everyone started staring. Several people gathered in a crowd around us, which soon increased to several hundred people, and several flight attendants surrounding Adam and asking him if he was okay. And then security ran in with a couple cops and right before my eyes, loaded Alex in a cop car and took him away, leaving me with the guys.

We got a taxi to follow them to the police station where they took Alex, and I ran in in front of the other guys. Alex was explaining to the officers what happened, and I ran over to him and hugged him. He gave me an unusually cold look and I stepped away and accidentally backed into Jack, who pulled me back outside to the front steps. "I'll see you later, Heather," he said quietly, the look in his eyes not fading as Jack nearly dragged me out the door.

The look in his eyes was the closest look to pure hatred I had ever seen in them, and made my eyes instantly fill up with tears. I sat down on the front steps next to Jack, who put an arm around me as I put my head in my hands and started crying. "Did you see how he looked at me?" I asked. Jack nodded.

"I know. It's almost like it was a different Alex. But he'll get over it. He always does," he said, his own voice dripping with doubt.

"But why would he look at me like that? He looked like he hated me," I said, putting my head on his shoulder. He pulled me closer to him until we were hugging, and rubbed my back for what seemed like hours as we waited for the rest of the guys to come out. I eventually stopped crying, and he pulled a piece of hair from my eyes and tucked it behind my ears. Then, Alex emerged. Rian and Zack gave each other a look I couldn't recognize as Alex got in the taxi we called without saying a word. "Thanks for that," I said quietly. His head whipped towards me, and the same look in his eyes was back. I grabbed Jack's arm, who sat on the other side of me. He nodded and put an arm around me, and I realized that this is the most quiet he's ever been, and the most sane he's ever been. Whoa, he must be really nice when he wakes up with an extra big hangover. Weird.

"Whatever," Alex said quietly, staring out the window as we passed Big Ben on the way to the hotel, and changing the song from Weezer to something else, which I saw was Jimmy Eat World. When we got to the hotel, he handed me my bag without saying a word, and didn't even open the door for me. What had I done to make him so mad at me? He hadn't been like that before Adam showed up. I walked behind everyone else and next to Zack.

"Why is he doing this?" I asked Zack, as we waited for the second elevator up to the room, as Alex had pushed the doors closed as I attempted to get in.

"I really don't know. He's never been like this, except all last tour when he basically refused to talk to anybody. He's mad about something," he replied as we stepped into the elevator. "You should try not talking to him. You know he's a big baby like that."

"He is. But he's never done this to me. I'm worried about him," I said as we got off and opened the room, which I would share with him and Alex. "If Alex doesn't clear up by tonight, can I stay with you? I don't want to piss him off anymore," I said. He nodded and gave me a hug.

"Hey. I'm here if you need me," he said, hugging me and ruffling my hair annoyingly. I laughed and put my suitcase down, and stared at Alex, who was messing with his hair, and tugged on the necklace he had given me as Zack left the room to see how the others were doing. Alex swirled around.

"What are you staring at?" He asked. I jumped, and hit my elbow on the media stand's corner. I gripped it and stopped staring.

"You. All of a sudden you've turned into a monster," I said quietly, almost so quiet that you could hear the air conditioning over my voice. He swirled back around.

"Well I'm sorry if you don't like me this way, but you can just get over it," he said harshly. His eyes flashed with rage, which almost never happens.

"Why are you being such a baby? It was you who punched Adam and almost got arrested!" I said.

"I'm not being a baby. I'm being like a normal person would be if they had just punched their little sist'ers ex-boyfriend who nearly killed her and got away with it!" He shouted.

"Well what else would you have done? Oh yeah, called security or something! But no. Instead you just had to punch him. And don't act like it's my fault. Because you're the one who let me date him in the first place, Alex," I shouted back.

"I only let you because you had that look in your eyes girls get when they really like someone. I didn't know that he would hurt you, and I didn't know he would try and kill you!" He shouted, grabbing my shoulders. I pushed them off, and he stumbled backwards. "And you are my responsibility, so I can punch him in the face for hurting you! You're too freaking young to die, and he was about to show you just how bad dying actually is!"

"And how would you know about dying? Because after Tom died, you just spaced out. You didn't talk to anyone, not even me, for almost three months after it!" I shouted, without realizing what I had just said. He walked up to me and pointed a finger in my face. He opened his mouth to say something, then turned around and breathed heavily.

"Not everything is about Tom!" He yelled. With that, as tears blurred my vision, I walked into the other guy's room and slammed the door as hard as I could, and slumped down the mahogany doors until I sat on the floor. I heard the door shut and saw Rian and Zack go into his room again. Jack quickly pulled the covers on the bed back and picked me up, and laid me down and covered me, and handed me a tissue to dry my eyes, which worked for about five seconds. Then the tears came back, and he slipped in next to me and pulled me close to him, stroking my hair. I wasn't able to stop crying, and it became hard to breathe as I realized that I had probably just lost Alex and I probably couldn't get him back.

"Heather, stop crying. It's going to be okay," Jack said. I shook my head and took a breath, the pain my chest increasing.

"But I just - I hurt Alex, Jack. I've hurt him and he's probably never going to talk to me again. We've never fought before," I said as well as I could.

"No you haven't, Heather. Trust me, I had shouting matches with my sister all the time. We're still cooler than a polar bear," he said.

"Yeah, but she didn't raise you. She wasn't there for you when no one else was. She didn't tuck you in at night or lay down with you until you weren't scared anymore, or ditch her friends for you. She isn't everything that you have," I said, and realizing what I had just said, let my eyes fill with tears again and not bother to wipe them away.

"It'll be okay," he said. "You just need some sleep and everything will be okay again, okay?" He got up and planted a kiss on my forehead and made me take an ibuprofen pill before I finally drifted off, thinking about everything that I had just lost forever.

******************************************************************************************

The next morning, I woke up in the same room I had been in before. My face was tight with the tears I had cried the night before, and my arm started itching. I suddenly had the urge to do something I hadn't done in almost a year, and found my purse, and took out the razor-sharp piece of silver. I breathed deeply before making an incision, going almost the entire width of my forearm. I saw the familiar sight of scarlet-red liquid on my skin, and smiled in spite of myself.