Spring Day 轉; knj + ksj

Extra Chapter - Yoongi's POV - An Explanation and a Confession

I never used to drink much alcohol. I didn't like its taste, yet these days I'd drown in its fizzy foams of bitterness. I wanted to forget so much, so I drank. I'd feel like shit the next day, but that was my punishment. Jin's dream had been destroyed by me.

Jin had received an acting role before our debut and I suggested that he should turn it down because his focus should be on singing. If he wanted to survive in BTS, he would have to train his vocals more. Then, the next time he was offered a role in a short web drama, I again told him that he should give up that gig to complete the group activities. We were going to be on tour. There was no way he could handle two activities at once. I was the voice of reason, yet . . .

I regret making that sort of recommendation. I knew he was already suffering from an illness. What I didn't know was his time limit. His time was almost up, yet I selfishly only thought about my career. What was best for BTS would be the best for me.

At first, I thought that Jin was the extremely selfish one. I didn't understand why he'd leave us. How could he only think about himself? Did he really hate us so much? Why couldn't he have waited till we finished touring? Why did he make this decision himself? He didn't believe in us?

Anger. I dealt with Jin's departure with anger. I was so mad at him that I cut off all ties with him. I vowed that I would never treat him as a friend because he never saw me as a close friend of his. He didn't even consult me for such an important decision and I had shared so many of my secrets with him. Thus, I decided that I didn't want to speak to him. I didn't want to even see his face.

Hating was easier than forgetting. I used hate to mask my sorrow and guilt. I hated Jin for leaving us. I hated Jin for being so self-centered. I hated Jin for deciding everything by himself. I marked him as a traitor. He never cared about us. That was why he never consulted us.

All that hate didn't get me anywhere in the end. I was just circling back and forth in this cloud of darkness. I couldn't get myself to do anything I loved because I'd always be reminded of how I had stopped Jin from pursuing his dream. How could I continue to write music after all I had done?

I wanted to escape from everything, yet somewhere down the road, Namjoon found me. It's hard to characterize my relationship with Namjoon. Needless to say, I had a terrible first impression of him. He and I clashed like no tomorrow. Whatever he did bugged me because he represented everything I ran away from. He came from an elite school, did well in class, had loving parents, and close friends. He was already doing so well academically, yet he wanted to just hop into my territory and was arguably excelling in my passion. How could an outsider invade my arena so easily when he hadn't even put in much effort? Why was he born with this perfect DNA? Why was life so unfair?

As time passed, I grew used to Namjoon. We had our share of fights and became accustomed to one another's habits. He'd snore often, but his mask was making him more tolerable. I felt bad too . . . knowing that he often had trouble sleeping. Still, he felt like a long-time co-worker as the two of us really only conversed about work. We barely talked about hobbies or any other trivial topics. So . . . why was he extending his hand out to me?

He found me at a bar and dragged me out of there. He stayed with me till early in the morning when I suffered from an excruciating headache at a small hotel room. He bought me some soup and handed me some water to cure my hangover.

"I already know everything."

I nearly dropped the water bottle onto the ground when he said that. Instead, I pretended like his statement had no impact on me and coolly uttered, "Oh? Is that so?"

As I pressed my lips against the opening of the water bottle, I felt the cold liquid slip down my throat, keeping me calm. Namjoon was gawking at me blankly as he sat by the edge of the bed. I was still sitting on this mattress, leaning against the headboard of this bed. Then he continued to say, "Do you want to continue acting like this all the time?"