Seven and Nine (FIN)

Forty One

"I decided to go back because of you, Shan. But I thought telling you this will make you stop me from leaving" napatigil akong muli sa pagsusulat but my gaze remains on that empty part of the paper in front of me. Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kanya.

"You know I will never do that, Seven"

"Why?"

"The more you stay in here, the lesser the chance for you to come back to a stage you always love, Seven. You don't belong here. You'll never fit in because this is not the life of a superstar like you"

Tumayo ako at lumapit sa kanya. Dahil nakaupo sya sa sahig, nakayuko ako para makita sya. I brush my hand on his soft red hair.

"I'm gonna miss you, Seven. Take care of yourself. It's gonna be a long painful journey to be on top again. Just promise me that no matter how hard it can be, you'll strive harder to get back on stage. I'll be looking forward to watch you performing onstage"

I stop brushing my hand on his hair and decided to leave but I was taken aback when he hugs me on my waist.

"I think I'm falling--"

"Stop right there, Seven" saka ko unti unting inalis ang braso nya sa bewang ko.

"Shan"

"You can never be my world...Seven"

Saka ako lumabas ng music room nya. Nagpaalam ako kay Nana at sinabi nyang bukas na daw ang alis nila. I hug her before leaving. Paglabas ko ng bahay nila, napahinto ako saka tumingala sa bintana ng music room ni Seven. Instead na sa bahay ako dumerecho, nagpalipas muna ako ng oras at naglakad lakad.

Alam kong masakit ang binitiwan kong salita kay Seven. And its the exact opposite of what I'm feeling right now. Hindi ko pa nga nasusubukan kung gano kaganda ang mundo nya, minahal ko na sya. What more kung makita ko pa syang masaya dahil nakabalik na sya sa mundong gustong gusto nya? Baka hindi ko na mapigilan pa ang sarili ko na bitawan sya.

Pagbalik ko, sigurado akong marami na ang magbabago. My name, my face, my whole self will be back to being that same mysterious woman. Iiwan ko na dito sa Cuba ang jolly Shanine Torres. At posibleng pag nagkita kami ulit, hindi na nya makilala ang Shan na natutunan nya na ring mahalin. Gusto kong magtatalon sa tuwa when he's about to confess how he felt for me. But stopping him before he can even tell me those words is the only way para malaman naming dalawa na hindi kami pwede. Even if its just simple words, it will mean a lot. Our love ends here in Cuba. Hanggang dito lang.

Pero alam ko na hindi lang yun ang mababago. Kasi pati tong puso ko, hindi ko nagawang pigilan na mahalin ang taong alam kong hindi pwedeng maging kami.

We're two different worlds. We had our fair share of differences but we managed to get close despite that. At pagbalik ko, alam kong maging ang desisyon ko...nagbago na rin.

I'm sorry, John. I'm sorry for falling in love with your bestfriend.

***

Seven's (Hangul)

Hinintay kong lumabas man lang si Shan sa bahay dahil ngayon na ang alis namin ni Nana. Pero ang mga kapwa nya lang volunteers na naging kaibigan ko na rin ang nagpaalam sakin. When I ask Jenna, sabi nya maaga daw pumunta sa local hospital si Shan dahil marami daw syang surgeries the whole day.

"Seven, the car is here. We're leaving"

"I'm coming, Nana"

Niyakap ako nila Trish, Lian, Sam at Jenna. Nakipag fistbump naman sakin si Darwin. While I'm here, hindi ko naramdaman na hindi ako belong dito sa Cuba. I thought aalis ako dito without talking or making friends with anyone but thanks to Shan, I'm happy being in Cuba.

She taught me so much about life, music and love.

Alam kong ramdam nya na mahal ko na sya. Kaya nga nya ko pinigilang sabihin na I'm falling for her kasi alam nyang hindi pwede. At nararamdaman ko rin na kahit tinataboy nya ko palayo sa kanya, mahal nya na rin ako. Bakit ba kasi ikaw pa? Bakit yung babaeng pakakasalan pa ng bestfriend ko? Kahit anong pigil ko, hindi ko na nagawa kasi yung puso ko, pinili na sya kahit nagsusumigaw na ang utak ko na si Sujin lang ang mahal at mamahalin ko.

"Thank you guys. I hope to see you one day"

"Dude don't make my girlfriend cry!"

"I'm not your girlfriend!" natawa na lang ako kina Trish at Darwin tapos nagpaalam na ulit ako sa kanila. How I wish to say goodbye to Shan pero hindi man lang nya ko binigyan ng chance. I don't even know kung posible pa ba kaming magkita. I'm gonna miss her for sure.

"Bye!"

Kumaway sila sakin saka ako pumasok sa rented car kasunod si Nana. Nadaanan namin ang local hospital pero hindi ko alam kung dapat pa ba kong magpaalam.

"Stop the car"

"Nana?"

"Go on, Seven. You might regret it if you don't"

"But she doesn't wants to see me, Nana"

"You should talk to her at least, Seven" napabuntong hininga na lang ako saka lumabas ng rented car. Ilang minuto pa kong nakatayo sa labas ng ospital bago makapagpasyang pumasok.

"Can I see Dr. Shan?" tanong ko sa isa sa mga nurses.

"Oh Dr. Shanine is in the middle of a long surgery. She'll be done in two hours"

"I see. Thank you"

Lumabas na ko ng hospital with a heavy heart. Umiling na lang ako kay Nana pagkapasok sa rented car. It will be a very long journey.

Hindi ko alam kung pag nagkita ba kami ulit, magagawa pa kaya naming bumalik sa dati. We resist each other kasi alam namin sa isa't isa that being together or falling in love unexpectedly is a mistake. Pero sakin, alam kong sya na ang laman ng puso ko. Alam kong sya ang tamang babae para sakin. Even if the situation seems awfully wrong, Shan will always remain to be the right person for me.

That place in my heart that Sujin occupies before, halos nakuha na lahat ni Shan. That surgeon I always admire. A surgeon who taught me so much.

How am I suppose to forget you, Shan?

Hindi ko yata kaya.