Voltron Oneshots

You Don't Need Me

Okay, I really wanted to try a shklance fic, soooo.. I hope y'all like it? This is my first time writing anything with 3 people in one relationship, so sorry if it sucks!
(Original Colors)

~Lance's POV~

Shiro, Keith, and I have been in a relationship for about 9 months. They were dating already, but they asked me to be in their relationship. I was crushing on both of them for the longest time, so I happily, and immediately, agreed. But.. I don't think they need me. When we first started dating, they said that I was important to the relationship, but I think they would be fine without me. Also, I have secrets.. They don't know about my depression, nor my suicidal thoughts. I doubt they would want to be with me still if they found out. Even if I don't think they need me, I still love them both more than anything in this world, though. We've said I love you once, but.. I don't think they actually do love me. Why would they? I'm just.. me. I bet I'm just adding extra problems to their relationship..
All three of us just parted ways; we just finished training. Today hasn't been very good. My thoughts are worse, and the temptation to cut is way worse. Usually, I only cut 2-3 times a week, but I've already cut 4 times this week.. It's only Wednesday..
There was an itching sensation in my wrists and thighs. It was so bad it hurt. I desperately need to cut.
In a hurry, I walked to my room, went into the bathroom, closed the door, and opened the bottom left cabinet where all my razors are. My wrists were burning with the sensation so much that I failed to notice I forgot to lock my bedroom and bathroom door. I also damped a washcloth, got out some bandages, and put a towel on my lap; I don't want blood getting on my clothes.
As soon as I set everything up, I put the sharp, metal knife on my wrist. At first, I lightly pushed down on my tan skin, but I quickly pushed down harder, drawing crimson blood. A small smile found its way onto my face. I continued to drag the knife across my wrists.
About 4 cuts on each wrist through, I heard a knock on my door. Panic filled my veins.
"Lance?" I heard Shiro ask, "It's time for dinner."
"O-Okay!" I yelled, desperately trying to keep the panic out of my voice. Mentally, I slapped myself for stuttering.
"Is everything okay?" Shiro asked, growing concerned.
"Y-Yeah!" I yelled back, quickly cleaning up.
"You sure?" I heard Keith ask.
"Yup! I'll be d-down in a minute," I called. Even though I said that, I still heard my bedroom door open. Even more panic filled my veins, making me clean up faster. I still need to bandage my wrists!
"Where are you?" Shiro asked in a concerned voice.
"Guys, I'll be out in a minute," I tried to reassure them once more, but my voice sounded terribly panicked. The bathroom door knob jiggled. I was putting away my razor still; I had to clean it, after all. Quickly, I started wiping my wrists with the damp washcloth, but I still had a bloody towel on my lap.
The bathroom door opened, revealing my boyfriends' horrified faces. I tried to hide my wrists, but they saw. Both of them gasped, rushing forward. I didn't notice I was crying until Shiro gently put a hand on my cheek; I couldn't help but slightly lean into his touch. Keith immediately started to wrap my wrists tightly. We sat in silence for a few minutes; the only thing you could hear was my tears hitting the tiled floor. At the same time, both of them hugged me tightly. Shiro was hugging my upper back, right below my shoulders, and Keith was hugging my waist.
More tears streamed down my face. I never feel guilty about cutting, I never have, but this time I felt immense guilt.
"Why..? What made you do this?" Shiro asked quietly, concern and worry laced through his voice.
"Why didn't you come to us?!" Keith demanded. Although he seemed mad, his voice showed that he was worried, concerned, and scared, maybe even terrified; which confused me. Why would he be scared? I'm just a burden.
"I-I'm sorry.." I apologized through my fallen tears. My arms were wrapped around both of my boyfriends' necks. After I apologized, they both squeezed me tighter. Keith's head was on my right shoulder; Shiro's head was buried in the crook of my neck on my left side.
"I-I-I'm sorry!" I apologized again. Tears of guilt started to mix into the tears of sadness and desperation. Hiccups started to force their way out of my lungs. Both of them started to rub circles, using one of their thumbs, on my back. I was still looking up; I didn't know where to put my head.
Keith lifted his head first, soon followed by Shiro. They both stared me in the eyes, making me a tad uncomfortable.
"Lance, why..?" Shiro asked.
"Why didn't you come to us?" Keith added.
The both sounded so sad. Concerned. Worried. Desperate.
"I-I.." I started, but I couldn't find the words. What do you say when your boyfriends catch you cutting? Is there anything you could say?
They both noticed my struggle, "It's okay.. You don't have to tell us now," Keith soothed.
"But you have to tell us later," Shiro added.
I nodded.
"Let's clean you up. We still have to go to dinner.." Keith pointed out, getting up. He held out a hand, and Shiro grabbed it, pulling himself up. They both held hands out for me, confusing me. Why aren't they mad at me? Why haven't they broken up with me yet? Don't they hate me now..?
I branched off from my thoughts, grabbing their hands. They flashed me small, sad smile.
I didn't smile back; they would know it's fake.
I turned around, turned on the sink, and quickly washed my face. When I turned back around, they both held out their hands. Again. Their action confused me once again, but I grabbed their hands anyway. We started to walk to the dinning hall in a tense silence.
When we arrived, everyone was staring at us.
"What took you guys so long?" Allura asked, "Usually only Lance is late."
I put my head down, but Shiro and Keith squeezed my hand reassuringly, "Something happened.." Shiro responded after a minute. I could feel Keith getting upset.
  "Could you not single Lance out, Allura?" He snapped.
  "S-Sorry!" She apologized, startled by the sudden outburst.
"Is everything okay?" Hunk asked, concerned.
"Yeah.." Keith replied, anger still slightly visible in his voice.
The three of us sat down next to each other. Keith was on my right, Shiro on my left. Both of them moved their chairs closer to mine, causing everyone to flash us confused glances.
Shiro put a hand on my knee, Keith put an arm around my shoulder.
"What's with all the affection today?" Pidge asked, still giving us confused glances.
"What? Are we not allowed to be affectionate with our boyfriend?" Keith replied sassily.
"No, I'm just confused," Pidge said, sounding defensive.
"There's no reason, Pidge," Shiro cut in.
She nodded, totally not believing us, and went back to eating. Shiro and Keith started to eat, but I wasn't hungry. I was worried. Scared. They're gonna leave me, I'm sure of if. Why would they want to be with me still?
"Babe, aren't you going to eat?" Keith asked, concerned.
"I'm.. not hungry.." I replied.
"Could you try and eat a little anyway?" Shiro asked softly. I slowly ate a little bit.
"Okay, seriously, what is happening?" Pidge asked again.
"Yeah, Lance, you're acting weird," Hunk added, "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," I shot him a fake smile. Keith and Shiro looked at each other, probably realizing that most of my smiles are fake at this point, "And, Pidge, nothing's happening," I added, also shooting her a fake smile.
"If you're sure.." Hunk said, going back to eating.
After, like, 4 more small bites, I put my spoon down. I only ate about 1/4 of my food, but Shiro smiled at me, "Thank you."
I looked down again. Everybody else was talking; Shiro and Keith kept shooting me concerned glances. Eventually, Allura finally let us part our separate ways.
I got up quickly, hoping I could run to my room and I wouldn't have to answer my boyfriends' questions, but Keith quickly grabbed my right hand, Shiro grabbing my left.
Quietly, I whimpered, for some reason. I really don't want to talk about what happened earlier. Both of them loosened their grip, but they were still holding my hand tight enough so that I can't run.
"Babe, we really need to talk about.. that.." Keith pointed out, getting up from his chair. Thank gosh everyone else already left.
"I don't want to.." I said quietly, tugging my hands.
"We have to, Lance," Shiro responded softly but firmly while getting up.
I sighed defeatedly, hanging my head. We walked to my room in a tense silence, once again.
When we got to my room, Shiro immediately closed the door. We walked to my bed, but only I sat on it.
"Lance.. Please, explain.." Shiro begged.
"I have depression and suicidal thoughts.." I whispered, hoping they wouldn't hear me, but they did.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Keith asked, sitting on my right side. He held my hand supportively.
I hung my head again, "I don't know.."
Shiro sat on my left side. He put his hand on my knee, "How long have you been..-" he took a deep breath- "cutting?" Shiro asked.
I sighed, "5.. 6 months?" I answered truthfully. They both tightened their grip, gasping.
"Why? Why didn't you come to one of us?" Keith asked desperately, his voice filled with sadness.
Tears pooled up in my eyes, "I thought you would hate me.." I whispered, covering my eyes with one hand.
"Lance.." They both whispered sadly at the same time before engulfing me in a hug. Once again, Shiro was hugging my upper back; Keith was hugging my waist. I covered my eyes with my hands.
"Why did you start?" Shiro asked, slightly tightening his grip.
"I've been depressed for years; I've had suicidal thoughts for years. But it started to get worse.. I-I started to realize that you guys don't need me.." I responded quietly, tears streaming down my cheeks. They both made sounds of disbelief at the last part.
"Lance, what made you think we don't need you?!" Keith asked, startled by my answer.
"It's obvious I'm the useless one.. Why would you need, want, me?"
"Lance, no.. You aren't useless! And we do want you! We do need you!" Shiro exclaimed as they both tightened their grip on me.
"Why didn't you come to us about that?" Keith asked.
"Because then you'd kick me out of the relationship.. You'd realize that I'm useless. Disposable.. You don't need me."
I felt tears from both of them drip on my shirt, startling me, "W-Why're you crying? Did I do something wrong?! I'm sorry!" I exclaimed quickly, my tears quickening.
"Lance.. We love you so, so much.." They exclaimed.
My body stiffened. They do love.. me? Small sobs forced their way through my body. I'm hurting them.. I never thought about how it would hurt them if they figured out; I always thought they'd be glad to have a reason to kick me out of the relationship!
"Lance, Honey, what's wrong?" Shiro asked me in a soft, sad voice. He lifted a hand, wiped my tears, and kept his hand resting on my cheek.
"I'm s-sorry!" I cried, "I'm s-sorry I'm such a d-disappointment! T-That I'm w-worthless!" More sobs forced their way out of my throat. Keith and Shiro were trying to calm me down, but I couldn't hear them.
I'm worthless
Useless
I hurt them
I hurt them..
Disappointment!
 
  "Lance, no! Y-You aren't worthless! You aren't a disappointment!" Keith exclaimed, singular tears dripping down his face.  
  "Honey, you're an amazing, amazing person!" Shiro also exclaimed.
  "But I'm not!" I cried loudly, "I h-hurt you guys! A-And I didn't e-even think a-about your f-feelings!"
  Keith unwrapped his arms around me, kneeled in front of me, and grabbed my face. He wiped the falling tears, but they were quickly replaced. Softly, he kissed my cheek, forehead, nose, jaw, and lips; I'm assuming he was trying to calm me down or make me laugh.
  After Keith finished his rain of kisses, Shiro faced me towards him, picked me up, sat me on his lap, and he hugged me; occasionally pecking my neck and jaw gently. Keith sat down and hugged me from behind; he rested his head on my back. My head laid on Shiro's shoulder as I cried my heart out.
  "Shh.. Let it all out," Keith cooed, rubbing circles my back. Shiro was gently rocking us, rubbing small circles with his thumb on my arm.
  After about 10 minutes, I finally stopped sobbing, but I was still crying. Shiro picked me up gently, sat me on Keith's lap, and got up, "Hang on, I'll be right back!" Shiro exclaimed, running out of my room. Keith continued rubbing circles on my back as I cried on his shoulder.
  "Shh.." He cooed again. Gently, he kissed my cheek, temple, and jaw.
  A minute later, Shiro barged into the room. I looked up, tears still streaming down my face. He was holding some tissues; a big, fluffy blanket; a laptop sized device, most likely from Pidge; a little DVD player, also most likely from Pidge; and a dvd.
  "I asked Pidge for a movie and a device we could watch it on. You said whenever you were sad on Earth you loved to watch movies, so I was hoping this would cheer you up!" Shiro exclaimed, placing the tissues and blanket on the bed, and setting up the device. I was shocked he remembered, "I hope you like Disney?" He asked, turning to Keith and I.
  "I love Disney movies!" Keith replied excitedly.
  I nodded, knowing my vocal chords wouldn't cooperate. Shiro smiled brightly, finished setting everything up, unfolded the blanket, sat down next to Keith and I, and put the blanket over all three of us.
  I was sitting on Keith's lap, leaning my head on Shiro. Keith's head was resting on my shoulder, one of his arms wrapped tightly around me, the other holding us up; his body was leaning on Shiro. Shiro had his arm wrapped tightly around Keith, keeping him close. Honestly, there was no space in between us.
  For the next 2 hours, we sat in that comfortable position, watching the movie. Occasionally, we would give each other quick pecks on the lips.
  After the movie ended, Shiro turned off the device, "How're you feeling, Honey?" Shiro asked, kissing the top of my head.
  "Fine.. Thank you, guys.. Sorry for causing such a commotion.." I replied in a raspy voice.
  "Sh, stop apologizing for everything!" Keith joked, "It's no problem."
  We all cuddled for probably about another hour. At this point, it must be around 1-2 am.
  "Sorry to ruin the moment, but, Lance, I gotta know where you keep the razors.." Shiro said after an hour of comfortable silence.
  I knew this question was coming, but I was dreading it. Hesitantly, I answered him, "T-The bottom left cabinet in my bathroom.." I replied quietly.
  Shiro kissed the top of my head, "Thank you, Honey."
  He got up, walked to my bathroom, and came out with my box filled with about a dozen razors, "A-Are there any other ones?" He asked hesitantly, surprised at how many razors I had. I shook my head, telling the complete truth.
  Shiro left the room for a minute, but he eventually came back, "Let's go to sleep. I'm sure you guys are exhausted?" Shiro announced, getting back in my bed.
  "I'm pretty tired," Keith agreed, yawning.
  I nodded my head. Shiro got on the far left of my bed, right against the wall. I laid next to him, pushing my body as close as I could to him so that Keith could fit. Keith scooted in next to me. My bed was kinda small, so the positions weren't the best, but we were happy. Shiro wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me close. I wrapped my arms around Keith's chest area. Keith wrapped his arms around my waist, his arms overlapping Shiro's. We all kissed each other separately.
  "I love you two.. so, so much.." I whispered, "And I'm sorry for today.."
  "I love you two, too. Lance, you can stop apologizing; it's fine.. As long as next time you come to one of us; preferably both of us," Shiro whispered back.
  "I love you two.." Keith whispered, nuzzling his head into my chest. I smiled, kissed the top of his head, and closed my eyes.
  Before long, I fell into a deep slumber; feeling loved for the first time in months..

That was looong! XD I hope you liked it? I really wanted to try something new, so I decided to try a shklance! XD Btw, the trailer for season 6 came out, and, I'm not kidding, I screamed YES when I saw Keith back with the team XD :3
Word Count: 2950