unpolished [lams]

Author's Note X

Ight, I'm about to so something really stupid.

Okay, this is something I considered since last night, but I wasn't sure of how y'all people would react.

Cause I'm pretty sure y'all gonna hate me after this.

But then I thought,

If I don't do it, who's gonna do it?

So, I would like to say I'm kind of one of the oldest people in this type of things and sometimes is uncomfortable, but I manage myself.

I, a 17 year old, consider myself old enough to do this, and give you advice about some things.

Even though, I'm not the wisest person, I still know how some things work.

This is a big ass community, where there's all kind of people. ALL KINDS.

Good people, bad people, smart people, oblivious people, innocent people, corrupted people, malleable people, manipulative people.

But people after all.

I got an anecdote.

A few months ago, I was reading a book of Lams one shots. That particular day the author (who usually wrote dom!Alex)  decided to update some kind of dominant John.

Which worked awfully since she still made John submissive to such levels, that he even was an early ejaculator.

I laughed, I have to admit and decided to comment. And I quote: 

"Omg, this is definitely NOT dom!John, I've been tricked! 😂😂"

Wanna know what happened next?

The author blocked me, and updated an A/n saying how there was people "hating on her work." and people "not tolerating the fact that she was a sub!John shipper." and how she was deleting the comments cause they were "rude" and "hateful".

Once I realized my comment was deleted, I immediately went to DM and tried to apologize, but again, she blocked me.

I had to ask other people to convince her to unblock me so I could apologize, and I did.

I tried to explain and apologized constantly. She seemed to be bored by it but at the end she "forgave" me.

Some days later I was analyzing some things.

1. On earlier months, before my little altercation, this same author was dating someone and claiming how she  loved them. A week later or so they broke up and ahead even insulted that person, but she apparently had no reason at all, cause moments later she updated another note apologizing.

2. This author had a suicide attempt. What makes me curious is, everytime she's "thinking on doing it" She has to make all her readers know. Even once, I texted her saying if she needed help, but she was so bored by it. I stopped believing. You just get tired of people when they claim they're lost but want no guide at all.

3. She's always threatening with quitting Wattpad, and once she get some attention and "don't go" Comments, she just magically devices she's stayed.

So I asked myself? Seriously, people don't realize this is all about joke for her?

After my altercation, I never read any of her work anymore, cause I realized she was just doing it cause of attention. And I'm sorry if it sounds like a trigger, but believe me.

When you have mental issues, or complexes, or any kind of personal situation of that kind, the LAST thing you do is make the whole world aware of it. Cause it's nothing to be proud of.

But what got into my last nerve was what she did yesterday.

How can someone be so thirsty for attention and complete acceptance, that makes people think a FUCKING SHAVING CUT is a SELF HARM CUT?!

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE DID YOU WORRY? INNOCENT AND OBLIVIOUS PEOPLE TRYING TO HELP, AND YOU TRICKED THEM INTO THAT?

And when somebody, who I recognized as simplyhamilton called out and realized it was a shaving cut, your coward ass decided to delete everything?

Really?

Now to the juicy part, do after that.

She called out another author, who we all recognize as rogue__Angel and said all her "fame" Was thanks to her endorsement. And the way she wrote was "disgusting" And that she was "ungrateful".

OKAY FIRST OF ALL-

1. YOU CALLED SOMEONE'S JOB DISGUSTING WITH WHAT MOTHERFUCKING PURPOSE? Like, honestly, why? Is it because she writes better than you? Or is it because people like her better than you cause she's not constantly playing the victim?

2. ENDORSEMENT? What the fuck? I can't call ONE time you mentioned her. And if you did, I can assure you, I knew her first than I knew you, and believe me, she's got nothing to envy.

3. So you cry and whine and beg to be accepted and tolerated, but you are not supposed to tolerate anyone? That's a little unfair, don't you think?

So now, go ahead and publish an author's note hating on me an my opinion. Like you always do. Manipulating innocent readers who care but you don't care about them. You just care about having attention.

Go ahead and get offended by the fact that you're not the fucking center of the universe and there's people out there with more potential and better attitude.

I'm not looking for a competition, cause I don't care about whether I got a lot of readers or not, I just love what I do and do it with the heart. So if any of you gets offended by this, I'm sorry, but I won't retract myself.

Call me however you want. Insult me,  cry and whine about it. I don't care. I'm not scared and I don't worry about it anymore. Doesn't matter for me anymore.

I won't fight a 13 year old with an inflated ego and narcissistic complexes hiding behind a fake self conscious wall.

Oh! You're wondering who I'm talking about? I bet you already knew.  But in case you didn't.  

It's SmolJohnL

I hope you understand now why you're never going to be happy. And yeah, block me again and show the world how immature and attention thirsty you are.