LightWeight

Step Twenty-Six

I drove us home in sort of a rush because my Mom needed her medicine. Still, I had to make a few false turns to make sure no one was following us from the restaurant. We did get home though, with twenty minutes before my Mom had to take her medicine.

"Why are you looking like that?" I asked as I searched for my keys in my purse.

"Like what?" I found my keys and began opening the door.

"You have the same smirk you have whenever you've done something I might not like but you do. Mom, what did you-"

I stopped short, looking at the three people in my house.

Micah

Jailee

And Calvin

I didn't know who to be mad at, my Mom for doing this, knowing I didn't know how to face him, or myself for not expecting her to do something like this. I wanted to go in my room, tuck myself in my covers, and wake up for this all to be a dream. But in order to do that, I actually had to walk pass the people standing there, and after several blinks I realized two things.

One: I was still standing here.

Two: my eyes were moist with tears.

Not even able to do anything, I stood there like a puppet as Calvin came up and wrapped his arms around my waist. It was my Mom who decided to come and wrap mine around his neck, and I just started to cry. I don't even know why, maybe it was because this showed he wasn't going to leave me. Maybe.

"Oh my god." I said, minutes later when I pulled back to close the door. "Mom, you couldn't have warned me?"

"Why?" She asked playfully. "So you could disappear for the entire three days? No way, I know you."

"Well I'm my Mother's Child." I laughed.

"So, am I invisible now?" Jailee asked in a mock distress voice. "I didn't put my as son a five hour flight to be ignored."

"Oh shut up." I replied, walking over to her and wrapping my arms to hug her.

"Happy Birthday!" I was so glad to hear her voice in person, all perky and sunshiny. Since I walked in that smile never left her face, revealing her cheek dimple.

"Thank you." I said.

"Oh, I see how it is." Micah’s voice rang through the living room. "I should have stayed in the hotel room."

"Yeah, maybe you should have." I rebutted.

"Ugh, I missed your smart mouth all the time." He engulfed in a hug, my chin colliding with his chest. Was he always this much taller than me?

"I missed y'all too." I responded, struggling for breathe. "Um, Micah? Do you really want to kill me on my birthday?"

"Oh, yeah."

He aggressively shoved me back, sending me flying right back to where I started: in Calvin’s arms. Well, if he didn't catch me I would have fell on the floor and bust my head on the wood.

"I so wish you stayed in the hotel now." I stood up, attempting to step away from Calvin. That, of course, didn't happen when he took my hand and pulled me away from the crowd. I looked back at the crowd to see Micah already in his phone, my Mom giving me an 'I-told-you-so' look, and Star winking at me. We stopped at the base of the stairs where he gently pressed me against the wall, his hands on my waist to keep me from moving.

"A letter, Desiree? Really?" He asked.

I looked down at my feet. "What?"

"You couldn't just tell me what happened? Do you want to even know how much we had to pay the hotel?" I looked at him with my eyebrows drew in, not sure what he was talking about. Noticing my confusion, he elaborated. "After I read that letter, I trashed the hotel room imagining it was that sick fuck. And then I punched Matthew when he said some smart shit about you. And then I broke down to my Mom when you wouldn't pick up your damn phone."

I don't know what it was, but his calm voice as he spoke sent chills through my body. Does he ever yell? "I'm sorry." I spoke after finally registering his words. "I...I didn't know how to tell you, okay? I always wanted to tell you, but the words would end up mushed in my throat, and after I said what I did to you, I felt horrible. And you didn't deserve hat, and I don't deserve you but for whatever reason you want me and that makes me feel like even more of a bitch for ignoring you. I am so sorry."

"I'm not mad at you." He said, sighing. "I'm mad at myself for not being more patient with you."

"If you were any more patient we would have gotten nowhere. I needed the reality check, and you don't understand how much better it's made me feel about the situation. You just don't know how much I hated myself for that. For everything. But now...I realize it wasn't me, and I should just let it go and-"

I was interrupted by his lips on mine. The action shocked me for a second, but eventually I kissed back. My hand went to the back of his head, pulling his head lower down as he pulled my body closer to him. I don't know how long it lasted before we pulled apart, both breathing heavily.

"I'm sorry. So, so sorry." I whispered to him, one of my finger tracing his lips. He didn't speak, and instead pushed my head down to rest on his chest. I didn't even realize how much I missed him until now.

"So," I plopped down on the couch next to Jailee. Micah and Calvin had left an hour ago to get ready with the boys for the concert tonight, with it being the last one and all. We were going to meet them at the venue within the next two hours. "What's going on in Star's world?"

"Usually, I would say nothing, but we both know that would be a lie." She sipped from her glass of lemonade. "So...my Mom put me in a regular therapy and a group therapy. The regular one just for me and the group for others who attempted suicide. I have absolutely no privacy because my Dad took my door off the hinges and put it in the basement. Every five minutes my Mom comes to check on me in my room. My Mom deactivated all of my social media and savages my room every day for anything I could use to hurt myself." To anyone else this would sound crazy, but being in her place before, I knew how it really was, and every step was necessary. "But...I'm getting better, I think. I'm not really sure because I haven't seen them so...I'm not really sure how that'll make me feel."

"Them?" I asked, pretty sure a perplexed expression was covering my face. "What?"

She sighed heavily. "So, remember when I told you I found out who Matthew had been cheating on me with?" I nodded my head in response. "Well...he was cheating on me with Breaunna. I saw them kissing in rehearsals that day."