The Fire That Sparked My Soul- Newtmas AU

Chapter Twenty Three

I don't speak another word before grabbing my bag and throwing it over my shoulder. I stalk out the classroom, slamming the door behind me. 

I'm a ticking bomb, waiting to go off  and, when I do, I'm going to take everyone down with me. Everything around me will crumble; shattering into tiny pieces, almost like glass. The pain will be unbearable, but I'll be the one to deal with it. I'm already weighed down by constant negative thoughts, but maybe adding to that might push me underground.

Being alone let's me think. Sometimes, quiet is good. But, as a wise man once said, 'sometimes, quiet is violent'. It's true. I tend to overthink things when I have space. Thoughts of terror often make their way into my mind at night, so I lay there thinking about them until I'm tired enough to fall asleep.

'I'm not schizophrenic, I just have an over active mind' is my version of 'I'm not a psychopath, I'm a high-functioning sociopath'.

"Look who's out of class," a taunting voice echoes. Ben. "What are you doing out here all by yourself?"

I don't want to fight back. Rage gives me adrenaline, but I can't risk getting into trouble. There's a sudden strong grip on my shoulder that turns me round. My face is so close to Ben's, even though he is slightly taller. I try to take a step back, but he only takes one forward.

"Go away, Ben," I say, sounding like a five-year old.

"Ben, seriously, man, just leave him be. He's going through enough shit right now. You don't need to give him anymore," Clint -one of Ben's friends- says from behind. His arms are crossed over his chest and he look impatient.

"Not yet, Clint," Ben snaps.

"You're such a prick. I'm leaving," Jeff -another one of his friends- says. 

"Don't!" Ben yells, "you dare. We haven't had any fun with him yet, have we?"

"And we don't need to. Now, let's go," Clint pleads. Both he and Jeff grab on to Ben and pull him backwards. I watch as he struggles against their grip. They're not as tall but they're just as powerful. 

"You're welcome for just saving your ass, dude," Zart says. I didn't even realise he was there.

"Thanks," I reply.

"We're gonna try and make sure he stays away from yourself and Newt for a while. I'm sorry for what he's put you through." 

I nod, clapping his back. The sincere smile on his face reaches his eyes. Why are they friends with him? He's not made of gold, he's not special.

I wander round school, knowing I'm not going back to English. Next period is lunch anyway, so I sit in the cafeteria and bring out things to study. I read over notes from History class, trying not to fall asleep.

Time seems to fly by and, before I know it, the bell has rang and students are piling into the room, desperate to find a seat next to their friends. I wave mine over, acting like I'm okay. Apparently, Teresa is not because she slams her books on to the table, causing me to jump.

"What the hell has gotten into you, Thomas?" She spits. She doesn't give me a chance to reply before she lurches back in again, "I'm trying to help you but you throw it back in my face. You screamed at Brenda when she was only trying to reassure you. I promised Newt I would look out for you, but I'm failing him because you're storming out in the middle of classes and being snappy about everything we say!

"Do you know what else, Thomas? You think you're the only one who's hurting. Well, big news, you're not. We're all finding it tough to cope with what Newt did but we're pushing that all aside to make sure you're okay. Pull it together, Thomas, because you are being damn right selfish."

There's an awkward silence. Teresa scoffs at me, clearly disgusted. 

"Teresa, I..." I never realised how...obsessed I had been with all of this that I didn't notice I was turning the attention upon myself. "I'm going to see Newt tonight. Please come with me. All of you. I think it would mean a lot to him."

"Of course we'll come," Minho said, his voice unsteady. I know he agrees with Teresa, along with everyone else, but Newt is his best friend. He'd die for him. 

"Brenda," I say to the shy girl who's hiding behind Gally. She slowly shows herself, fear striking her face. She unwillingly takes a step forwards. "I'm really sorry for yelling at you. I don't know what got into me. I'm really starting to lose it, aren't I?"

"I forgive you, Thomas. You didn't have to take your anger out on me, but sometimes it's better to let it out rather than pent it up inside you," her small, yet confident, voice said. 

A sympathetic smile was all I could manage. I can't deny the fact Brenda is one of the sweetest girls I've ever met. Her badass side is usually hidden at school, but she can slag people off with her sarcasm like a professional. 

And I know Teresa will be angry at me for a while, but she'll come around. She always does. I just have to be patient.