At No Time || Bruno Mars

76

Peter would not admit it to himself; at least not so early. He would not give Trystan or Dr. Chavez their rightful satisfaction that therapy did work. Peter had never done it before because he was a private man, wary of strangers in his business and keen on handling (or mishandling) his own issues by himself.

Nevertheless, he realized that only few sessions in, there was a bind breaking within him, a dam cracking, one he had never really set for dismantling. Dr. Chavez did not seem to be just a doctor, but almost like a friend if Peter's pride would allow him passed acquaintanceship. He had a quiet curiousness about him, unless he had to, never forcing out an answer. It was the mature inquisitiveness in his eyes that did most of the work, and before one knew it, they would be spilling their guts to him.

After the first couple of tumultuous meetings, filled with Peter's resistance against the questions he was asked and Trystan's silent glare at his lack of participation, they began finding a more common ground. Trystan allowed him to open up at his own pace, recognizing the realm was still very new to him unlike how it was for her. If he did not feel comfortable answering a question and refused to do so, she ceased burning a hole in the side of his face and accepted his silence.

It helped that they had never been truly afraid of letting each other know how they felt, but sitting in the homey office, their daughter on the other side of the glass wall, Peter felt more relaxed. When he finally felt safe enough to be open and relay his feelings, Trystan would take them as she always had, and return to him a response he willingly welcomed.

Together, Peter and Trystan's relationship with Raina had never really been an obstacle, but Peter could feel the resolve between them lessening more and more when Dr. Chavez urged them to partake in more family time.

"It's great that you two have managed to have a healthy relationship with your daughter, but as you've described it to me, you manage better when it's one parent at a time versus both of you together."

Peter had not assumed it to be that way--he felt he shared both Trystan and Raina often, but Dr. Chavez was not so sure. "Remember, Raina is not there to exist as a buffer between the both of you, and not even a glue. It may feel that way sometimes, but that isn't her job. It's going to take the both of you working together to benefit the family as a whole. Your next assignment will be to spend more quality family time together that you two plan. No more feeding off of what one parent has already set up for her to do. It's up to you two to create that space.

Peter did not recognize how tough the task would be until he was presented with it. He realized that when he and Trystan had their alone moments when their daughter was not around, there was always a tinge of tension between them. They could cover it up in corny jokes and forced laughter all they wanted, but they still were not comfortable around each other and had been using Raina as the glue.

He and Trystan went about it methodically at first, Peter making the choice to com home a few hours early every night where he would proceed in the activity he and Trystan had planned that morning, whether it was arts and crafts, movie nights, or reading to Raina before bed. It was all strategic, sometimes feeling more artificial than authentic, but Dr. Chavez heeded it would be that way before things felt more than routine.

"Don't let that stop you," he told Trystan when she brought it up during another session. "The initial part is about seeing what togetherness looks like, and when once you two have gathered a good sense of that, you'll start to see what it feels like, too."

The parents decided to trust the therapist's words and continued with their orders, strategically and methodically.

Until it came a time that it was not either of those things.