the darkness inside us ; multiship

twelve

trigger warnings - drug abuse, suicidal thoughts, depression, self-harm, and anxiety

"Hey, Cal?"

Ashton plops down on the couch next to Calum, arm instinctively sliding around Calum's neck. Calum smiles, shifting so he's leaning against Ashton with his head on his shoulder. "What's up?"

"D'ya maybe wanna sleep in my room tonight?" Ashton asks hesitantly. "It's been two days and Alex is still glued to Jack's side. He's sleeping in his room again tonight."

"Aw, is someone lonely?" Calum coos, looking up from his phone long enough to make those damn puppy eyes at him.

Ashton glares at him, nudging his shoulder. "Dick."

Calum rolls his eyes. "Sure, mate. Anything to get me away from the damn love fest."

Ashton laughs. "Are they really that bad?"

Calum's eyes are wide when he answers. "Worse. So much fuckin' worse."

...

"Are the rumors true?"

"Alert the media!"

"You guys better not fuck this up again."

Vic grins, tightening his grip on Kellin's hand as they slide into their seats at the dinner table. They haven't formally discussed getting back together, but the handholding and cheek-kissing and cuddling doesn't signify anything else.

He never thought he'd be this happy without drugs. He's used to the feeling, but the euphoria he gets when he snorts cocaine or shoots heroin is the same feeling he gets when he's with Kellin.

He doesn't need drugs to be happy.

"Vic, Kellin, we gotta talk after dinner," Jordan says. Vic nods, dismissing it immediately. He expected that. Jordan and Quinn like to know what's going on in their lives, any big changes, that sort of thing. They check in a lot, especially after finding out about the sneaking out and the drugs. It was annoying at first, but they're just being parents, and that's more than Vic can say for his own parents.

"You guys are okay now, right?" Awsten asks, stabbing the tiniest piece of chicken with his fork and bringing it to his mouth ever so slowly.

Kellin smiles. "We're getting there. Nowhere close to perfect, but getting there."

"We're really happy for you guys." Ashton shoots them a grin and the rest of the table murmurs their agreement. "You deserve it."

Dinner's over quickly, for the ones who don't deal with crippling eating disorders. Like always, Frank, Awsten, Jack, and Mikey are left at the table, meaning Gerard, Geoff, Luke, and surprisingly, Alex, are there with them. Brendon's eating at Ryan's house, no surprise. It's obvious something is blossoming between Jack and Alex, but no one's said anything yet. It's a delicate, fragile bubble they've created for themselves, commenting on it would pop it.

Vic pulls Kellin against him, and his laugh is fucking music. It's so pretty. Vic's missed it so much. He kisses Kellin's hair, arm slung around his waist as they walk over to the family room where Jordan's waiting.

"Sit down," Jordan orders them. "Listen...things have been flying around here, and I have to ask, are you two back together?"

Vic shrugs. "We haven't talked about it, but..." He glances at Kellin, sees his nod and the smile on his face. "Yeah, we are."

Jordan sighs. "You remember what happened when you guys broke up last year, right?"

Barely. Those few weeks are a blur of drugs and alcohol and one night stands. He was willing to do anything to get out of his head, anything to keep from being in reality because reality was missing Kellin and he couldn't do it anymore.