the darkness inside us ; multiship

eleven

trigger warnings - eating disorders, depression, and anxiety

"What the hell happened?"

"Fuck, is he okay?"

"Did he pass out?"

"He's just unconscious, right?"

"Guys, stop," Jordan said, holding up a hand. "Let mama bring him up to his room. We'll talk in a few minutes, okay?"

"He's fine," Quinn assures them, shifting Jack's limp body in her arms. "He fainted. He'll wake up soon, everything is gonna be fine, I promise."

She makes her way up the stairs and carries Jack into his room, lying him down on the bed. A pair of arms wrap around her waist and Jordan rests her head in the crook of her neck.

"Fuck, Jor," Quinn sighs, shaking her head. She grabs one of Jordan's hands and squeezes. "What are we gonna do?"

"Did he eat anything?"

"Two bites of taco," Quinn replies. "He's getting worse...I'm so worried about him..."

"I'll call Lucas," Jordan offers. "Maybe an individual session will help..."

"It's not working," Quinn mutters. "No matter what we say to him, no matter whether he's hungry or not, he still sees himself as fat. There's nothing we can do to change his perception. I don't...god, Jor..." She trails off, tears burning at the corners of her eyes.

Jack's been there the longest of all the kids. She remembers when he first came to them, an abandoned baby left on the side of the road by his mother. They've raised him. Quinn feels like his mother. She and Jordan are the only parents he's ever had.

Raising him from birth means they saw him descend into his eating disorder, and it's the most heartbreaking thing Quinn's ever experienced. They saw him go from overly confident, goofy, riot child to scared teenager, counting calories and pinching skin and forcing himself to starve to fit some mold that doesn't even exist.

Jack wasn't consistently in the group home. He was put through a number of foster homes as a younger child, each one worse than the last. They heard the stories. Abuse, neglect, and an overall hostile presence only added to Jack's scrutiny of himself. He was starved at some of the homes, told he didn't need food until he internalized it. It was when he turned thirteen that he decided he didn't want to go to any more foster homes. He wanted to stay in the group home until he aged out of it and they fought so hard to get the state to grant him that.

"We'll call Lucas," Jordan says gently. "And maybe he can even talk to Raven? She'll get it. We'll get him through this, love. I promise."

"He doesn't deserve this," Quinn says. She pulls away from Jordan and sits on the edge of Jack's bed, brushing his fringe out of his eyes. He's so thin. How does he not see it? He looks so emaciated, how does he think he's fat?

It's just so heartbreaking. This is her little boy. The boy she raised from infancy to teenager. He's been through so much and his life has broken him and its physical effects are so devastating. Too many people have hurt him, he's used to hurt, it's no surprise that he turned to hurting himself, but he's going too far and she's terrified she might lose him.

"Mama?"

"Oh Jack," Quinn breathes, as he blinks rapidly, sitting up and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. "Oh sweetheart, thank god."

She pulls him into her arms and exhales a sigh of relief. "Don't you dare do that to me again, kid."

"I'm sorry," Jack mumbles against her shirt. "I tried so hard..."