Average Joe (2018)

6

"Wait, you did what?"

"I know," I groaned, head in my hands, my headboard propping me up for support. "I'm such an idiot. What should I do?"

"Only thing you can do," Darwin replied, sitting at my desk. "Go." I split my fingers open, looking at Darwin with shocked eyes.

"What?" I asked, voice muffled by my hands.

"You have to go." Darwin left my desk chair and sat next to me on my bed, causing the old thing to squeak. "If you don't, Tori will know something is up."

"Just peachy. Now we have to go to a party at Kimberly Anderson's house...."

"I know," Darwin said, looking dreamy-eyed. I rolled my eyes.

"No, Darwin, I meant that in a bad way."

"Oh.. um, right."

Kimberly Anderson was the captain of the cheer squad and wasn't exactly the brightest crayon in the box. But she was hot and mean, so of course, Darwin was completely infatuated with her.

My bedroom door swung inward and my Mother stepped in.

"Norman, dinner will be ready soon." I nodded. "Darwin, were you staying for dinner?"

"No, thank you, Miss Miller. I gotta head home."

I always wondered if Darwin never stayed for dinner because of the last time.

My grandfather, my Mom's Dad, was here the last time Darwin stayed for dinner. Grandad was always a bit traditional, and by traditional, I mean racist. Darwin was dark-skinned, so of course, good old Grandad made a few comments. I lost my temper and called Grandad a sock-sniffer, (whatever the heck that means) and he told my mother I was a spoiled brat. Then I called him a prune squeezer (seriously, I don't know where it comes from).

Darwin stood as Mom walked back to the kitchen.

"Bye, man," he said. "See you tomorrow night."

Tomorrow night.

How did Friday come so fast? Most teenagers looked forward to the weekend, but I was now dreading it. Not only did I have to make an appearance at a party for bullies and rich kids, but I had to go with my crush's boyfriend.

Wasn't this in the Bible as one of the curses that came down on Egypt?

I walked from my large bedroom to the kitchen, which had many open windows overlooking the city, thirteen stories below.

Mom's job (the one where she steals things) made us very wealthy. And much to my Dad's dismay, most of the money my Mom earns is basically used for things like flat-screen TV's, video game consoles, gourmet food, pretty much whatever we wanted.

My Dad, however, lived in a ratty apartment in the Bronx. It's not like school teachers (especially ones in New York) make a lot of money. Either way, I still preferred to be at my Dad's house. Whenever I play my video games or get on my computer, I know that the money that was paid for is not ours, and this may be my inner Sabrina Miller, but that kind of... excited me a little. Of course I didn't tell Mom that. She would start grooming me for being the world's greatest super villain.

"Chicken or beef?" Mom asked me, as she started pulling out ingredients.

"Beef is cool." She nodded and started pulling out cans from the cabinet. "Is Cletus coming over?" I emphasized the name Cletus because I thought it was funny.

"No, he is not," Mom responded. "You don't really need to hide the fact you don't like him."

"Mom, I'm sorry, it's just... that man is as dull as a brick."

"He is not!" She said, smiling.

"And did you hear the way he pronounces tissue? 'Tis-you'. I swear it's all I heard all night. 'Norman, can you pass me a tis-you? Sabrina, you need a tis-you?'."

"At least I didn't agree to going to a party with my crush and her boyfriend."

"What is this, gang up on Norman Day?" My Mom smiled as she started boiling water.

"Honestly, honey, if you want Tori to know how you feel, just tell her."

It felt kind of surreal to talk to my Mom about girls. I usually only talk to Darwin about that kind of stuff, and of course, that one time when Cletus tried to get close to me by talking about girls. That was a horrible conversation, and to be honest, I wanted to fling myself off a bridge.

"It's not that simple," I replied. "She doesn't feel the same way. And she likes someone else."

"How can you be sure?" I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. "Exactly. For all you know, Tori could feel the same way about you."

"Or she could feel the same way about Bryan."

"The boyfriend?"

"Yeah. He's like, eight feet tall, has flaming red hair, tan skin, brown eyes, bulging muscles, the whole deal."

"I hardly doubt he's perfect, dear."

"Tori probably thinks so."

"Look, either way you'll feel better. You should tell her."

"Maybe..." A vibrating buzz rang out. Mom pulled a phone from her apron and put it to her ear.

"Yeah, it's me... no, I was just cooking dinner... no, I can be there... town hall, huh..? Alright, I'm on my way." She hung up.

"What was that?"

"Work."

"Which one?"

"The dangerous one."

"The super villain one, got it."

She ran to the other room, and walked back ten minutes later, dressed in thin, blue armor, an eye mask donning her face.

"Can you make dinner yourself?" I looked at the scribbled recipe.

"I... think so."

"Remember, if your Dad calls..."

"You're at the supermarket, right."

Cold Front planted a kiss on my forehead and ran to the balcony. I watched as she flew away, a streak of ice behind her.

"Love you, too," I grumbled, as my heart sank into its usual state of loneliness.