Continuous Sinner. {COMPLETED.}

|| 040 - A Worrying Wobble ||

~ I hope there are days when you fall in love with being alive.

~ Unknown

I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him. That was all that my head was chanting, pacing back and forth in a hidden away corner whilst huffing and puffing into that cigarette stuffed with weed. E, we get it but don't mess this up! Just put up with him for everyone's sake, yeah?

Just thinking about that Ajax kid made my Wrath kick in. Why did he have to wind me up? But why couldn't I have just taken the joke? I guess it wasn't just his fault. But mine. I think the actual person I hated the most was The Creator. Now that was a person who I despised the bloody crap out of. He was the real reason why I acted this way.

I could hear everyone else playing around with Cerberus, enjoying themselves for the time being, probably having a sound time without me there. I know that for a fact, that I destroyed everyone's chance at happiness. Especially Gia's.

She shouldn't have even been associated or near me. She was such a pure and troubled soul. Why do I feel like I made her even more troubled? I don't even see a way out, to be honest. As much as I adored the girl, and as much as I would go to the ends of the Earth for her, I felt like I was ruining her life. Her only shot at freedom. She didn't deserve me.

My head was bashed against the bedrock icicles that draped along Tartarus. I just closed my eyes in rage, upset, anger...Wrath. My sight was shielded from everything as I just wanted to take this time to realise that I was a waste of space. That was until I suddenly felt two arms wrap around my torso. I looked down, with my arm stuck on the wall with my head resting on it, to see who it was. I didn't even have to guess. I knew who it was.

"Why?" Was all I asked.

"What do you mean, E?" She inquired, her head rested against my back. I could just hear the care in her voice. My head was a mess at this point. It's crazy how that one little comment was the trigger.

"Why do you care so much about me? Why are you wasting your time with me? A psychotic kid who can't even get through the day without lashing out at someone or something." Her sigh told a thousand stories. But her next response caught me.

"You know why. You're my whole world. You're absolutely everything to me." Her voice became even frailer than it originally was. Like it was walking on shards of glass.

"You're not safe around me. I'd do one if I were you. I don't mind. Go on, you can get rid of me, I've put you through enough trouble." I froze her now. I felt her head detach from my back, her breath rising unsteadily.

"P-Please don't say that. Please." She stuttered. Her body travelled to in front of me. I couldn't bear to look at her face. To see how distraught she must've been. What the hell are you doing to this girl, E!?

"A-Are you saying that we should b-break up?"

"Of course I don't want to, but at least you'll be safer. I'm making your life even worse." A tear broke free from my left deep noir eye. Of course, depression had to break free now. She now stood, trembling in front of me with her eyes brimming.

"Ely...I'm a-already a Sinner! It makes n-no difference. And, y-you've made this and my past lives w-worth living. I-I don't know what I'd do wi-without you. P-Please Ely." Gia's hands were placed either side of my face. I began shaking my head. Her delicate face was breaking by the second, I couldn't bear to look at her like this..but I did anyway. What was I doing? I was breaking her heart. And the last thing I wanted to do was break up. She was the only one that I had ever loved. I needed her. I couldn't get rid of her. After dreaming about her for so long.

I could do no other thing than to break down in her arms. I felt like this was the first ever time I had showed emotion like this before. I sank into the crook of her neck, muffled weeps escaped my mouth with no hesitation at all. I hated that the littlest thing could get me so riled up. And I hated that Gia basically bared the brunt of my temper.

"Gia, I-I am so sorry." I cried. She only shushed me as she also sniffled, with liquid glass tears tumbling down her face. I knew how much of an idiot I was being. Not only that...I was taking up time.

I dislodged my head from her neck and couldn't do anything else but to rest it on hers, closing my eyes. Finally, I could see how selfish I was being, constantly thinking about my own feelings, my own thoughts, my own circumstances. Everything but the one I loved with all my heart. And it may be perceived a different way to her, but to me...it was too enormous to avoid.

"But I do understand if you want to break up." She sniffled. My hands rushed up to the sides of her face, urgent to pull her in.

"Don't listen to anything I said. I don't want to break up. Why would I want to let go of the only person who is able to melt my anger? No one has ever been able to get through to me like you have. I've already lost you a first time, I'm definitely not gonna lose you a second time."

She fished out the wild strands the created my bangs, out of my intimidating eyes. But they didn't seem intimidating to her, they never did. Which made me wonder if she ever got scared of me whenever I exposed my Wrath. Every mirror I shattered, every head-but to the wall...only brought her closer to me. As her natural instinct was unable to let go of me.

Her eyes shimmered with unique glistening light. Her tears streaking her cheeks that seemed to me to be sculpted with polished marble. Just bringing up that idea of breaking up with Gia Neldai was infuriating. How foolish of me to say such a heinous thing.

I let my finger trace over her hairline and down to her collarbone. My beloved Gia slowly slipped her arms around my neck, just to demolish the space left between us both. That soft pair of lips found my own, after a rather large wobble on my behalf. I just felt at ease again, like her kiss was only handcrafted for me.

"Do you feel ready to join the others? If you aren't yet, I'll wait here with you. I'm staying with you because I care about you so much. I don't like seeing you sad. But that means I can attempt to make you happy or alright at least for the time being."

"Believe me, Gia. Even though I can't show it, you always make me happy. I can't express that to you enough." I spoke every word with the utter truth as I was only millimetres away from her face until I kissed her tenderly once again, defeating the undying temptation.

"I'm ready. And I'll try not to lose my rag with Ajax this time, for you."

"Hey, remember! I know you can't help it if you can but, I respect you so much for trying, E." She bashed her eyelashes unintentionally as her beauty shone radiantly whilst she tucked strands of untidy hair that fell out of her bun behind her ears.

"So...we ready to go?" She asked finally, reaching for my hand. It slotted into hers so easily as I began to trail my thumb over her soft frail skin. I was now ready to put all of my thoughts to give up completely out of my head as I turned to Gia before we began walking back.

"Let's do this, Kitten."