Empress Natsume ✓

XXXIV

"It's because I live in this warring states era too, where peace became foreign to us and the struggles of wars have no end. I've seen some of my friends being sent out to war at the very young age and they never came back. Most of the children can't have a long life, they died at the very young age without discovering how wonderful it is to live. Many men have left their family, that's why many of the children became orphans and ended up being a servants, some men didn't even have a chance to came back just to see their new born child. I think of my home, the small village that I grew up with, sometimes we were robbed by the barbarians. They get all the valuable things in our village and pick two or three of our beautiful women before leaving, and we're left there at loss without putting a fight because we're weak against them, because it's the nature, the nature of the warring states era. Wars will end with a war and you're a warlord, a warlord that will unite the warring states era of Sang and become an emperor"

I said and look at him in the eyes as he stared back at me too, he look like he's half convinced, like he wanted to hear something else other than that, a thing that is far more important than what I've said and it was left unsaid.

"Why would it have to be me of all warlords in the warring states when I'm a tyrant? Why can't it be someone else other than me to unite the states of Sang and become a king? That's the most important points that you've missed. If you can answer that and convince me, I can promise you that you will not just become my queen but an empress. I can extend my power to another countries and dominate them if that's what you want but first, you must convince me"

I'm not doing this for my sake, I'm doing it for the sake of his people that are blindly following his path with a hope that he'll become a king. That hope will extinguish if their own believe king doesn't believe in himself to become one. I also wanted him to end this war, this suffering, so that the children of Sang can have a longer lives and the men can see their own children grow up. If I have a power over him, even if he's a tyrant, maybe, just maybe... I can make him see.

Unlike him who grew accustom to war and love the ways of war, many children died and suffered, not all children are like him. To live longer and raised to power is not something that anyone else can do.

"Wasn't it enough reason that you're the current most powerful warlord in Sang?"

He shook his head in disappointment and I feel disappointed in myself too.

"Is that all you've got?"

"If I give you a reason that I can think of, it's because you're my husband even if you're a tyrant, you're still my husband. I can be your reason for you to become a king or an emperor. I want to become an empress and not just a queen, I can be your light and guide. If my reasons are still unacceptable to you, would it have been better if I didn't marry you and married another man that I love?"

His fingers twitched but his face remain calm, except for his dark black eyes. The light of the fire candles flickered into his eyes, illuminating his burning fury.

"What are you implying, Natsume? That everything revolves around you? That I'm inadequate to your preferences of love. Pardon me, but not everything revolves around love"

I laugh at his statement while his eyes still remained on me, it seems like he got it in the wrong way.

"Milord, you don't know how everything revolves around love. Wars are created because of love, whether it's the love to your lover, to your homeland or to your family and we can't deny the fact that I married you for power because I love my family and my homeland. If you perish, my clan, my homeland, and myself will perish alongside with you, that's why I cannot allow you to fall. There are only two options you have, you stopped here and you fall or continue and become a king. You cannot continue without declaring yourself a king, a figure that has an absolute power over his states and cares about the citizens, rather than a warlord who conquered and oppressed them. By declaring yourself as a king, the other states that you've conquered will become as one and become the citizens of Ryuu to serve you"

He look almost convinced now, something is still missing.

"Assuming that I declare myself as a king, you cannot expect me to be kind and merciful"

"Weak hearts have no place in wars. I know that, I know that the path to conquer all the states of Sang is bloody, killing the enemies are natural but I beg you not to kill or harm those who have surrendered themselves and the unarmed civilians, especially the children. There's no point in killing an enemy that already put down his weapon, you can't commit a genocide. Only then, you will truly become a king of Sang"

This 300 years of Warring States period has been dragged for a long time. I want to see the peaceful Sang that used to be a warring states before I die and smile to myself and for once, I also hope for my husband to become a king, he's the only one who's capable of stopping this. How many great warlords have fallen and failed to their conquest? There are many of them but Lord Ryuu is different, even if he's a tyrant, there's no denying it that he has an exceptional talent in war that no one in Sang can surpassed. Is it because of the demon soul? I don't know about that, I'm sure that his talent came naturally to him.

Before he massacred his whole family, General Izumi said that he's talented and almost perfect in everything he does.

"You don't know anything about this man you're asking to become a king, you don't know everything about his past. Whenever I look back at my past, I don't think that I fit to become a king, I only bring destructions with me without a little bit of benevolence"

I sighed heavily and calm my nerves, it's time for me to reveal that I know something about it. I'm his wife and he hasn't told me anything about it. It's hard for him to trust a new comer like me.

"Milord... I know for a fact that you massacred your own family and that you... have a demon soul but--"

He's calm before an evil grin spread over his face and a mocking laughter escaped his mouth before I can finish my sentence.

"You knew about it? Then why not run away from me now? Or are you here to manipulate me and become your puppet"

I sat still while he leaned closer to me.

"You don't know how terrifying I'm, Natsume. I can brutally kill you here and no one will mind or care about it, just like I did to Kana. You can't control a monster, Natsume"

His eyes turn red, bloody red. He wrapped his right hand around my neck and I can feel his sharp long black nails threatening to kill me. I didn't flinch when he pricked me with his nails on my neck, I can feel my blood slowly trickles down to my collar bone as I stared back at his now bloody red eyes. For some reason, I don't feel frightened at his appearance at all, like this is not the first time that I've seen him like this. Is it because I also carry a demon child with me that I don't feel frightened at all? I really don't know, maybe because I was already expecting this.

"Who's kana?"

Silence have fallen to us and my question remain unanswered. We stared back at each other for what feels like hours before his eyes slowly turn back to its normal color, I can feel his nails turn dull around my neck before he let go.

Weariness dawn to his face and he lazily put his head on my shoulder.

"Sorry about that, even though I really meant to scare you"

He whispered to my ears, the heat of his breath tickles me. I remain silent as he wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm relieved that you didn't ran away from me. I can't sense your fright, why aren't you scared of me?"

"I was already expecting that kind of appearance, I actually imagine some things that is way worse than that. I thought you'll have fur all over your huge body with a horn, or an eyes all over your body. I'm glad that it's just an average appearance"

His shoulder shook in a muffled laughter on my kimono

"You call it an average appearance?"

I nodded, knowing that he can't see me, his arms tightened around me.

"Truth is, you're more frightening than me, Natsume. It scares me how easily you can manipulate me, how I give in to your demands. I actually don't need reasons to become a king, I don't fit to become one in whatever aspect, except that I'm strong, but if you want to become a queen or more than that, I will ascend you to the throne. You will become my queen or an empress if you want"

My eyes widen in surprise and I tugged at his hair. What in the name of god had possessed this man?

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