Imagine If You Assembled The Avengers: Volume 3

Pool, Dead (Wade Wilson x reader)

"Nobody saw that, did they?"

"No, no one at all, (Y/N)," Clint scoffed with a roll of his eyes, "other than Tony, Steve, Nat, Wanda, Scott, Pete, Vision, Rhodey, T'Challa, and Bucky."

"I saw it too," Sam joined in.

The two men broke into quiet laughter, each of them on either side of you, helping to hold you up as you walked back to the jet to return home. You gave them a sharp glare of warning to shut their mouths, but in the current situation, you had no power to stop them. If they hadn't been there to actively hold you up, you'd be completely helpless to get anywhere on your grotesquely broken leg.

"Don't worry," Clint began again, "I'm sure that no one got video of it. Give it a few days, and they'll all forget. I'm sure that the next accident for any one of them is right around the corner."

"No, man, I got video, too," Sam offered eagerly. He held up his phone in his free hand, swiping his thumb over the screen to light it up with the embarrassing scene of you getting stuck in one of Pete's webs only to put yourself right in the line of Steve's shield, tripping as your leg snapped only to fall onto T'Challa who impaled you with one of his claws when he tried to catch you.

"Sam, name your price. I'll pay anything to get that video from you."

"Anything?"

"Anything."

"Hmm," he paused, stopping in his tracks to become introspective, leaving Clint to stumble slightly to try to keep you upright. The archer mumbled something laden with curses that you didn't quite hear, your attention fully on Sam to hear what terrible idea he could come up with. "Alright...alright, how about this...I'll give you this video and then you can watch me erase my copy, if you give Redwing his bath every week for a month. Even in those hard to reach places."

"Done," you answered immediately, without any hesitation.

"Damn, that was easy. Maybe I should've taken more time to think this through."

"Too late, pal," you shrugged. "Now please, just get me home before anyone else finds out about this."

"But everyone was here?" Clint joined in again. "There isn't anyone else who would be able to give you shit about it if you're the only one with evidence."

You hung your head as you continued to walk, knowing that the likelihood of this staying quiet was pretty bleak. Even if you had the evidence, things had a way of getting out, and there was one particular person in your life that attracted trouble like a damn magnet. If it was trouble that involved you, it moved just that much faster.

"Oh, Barton, if only you were right."

~~~

It was a warm, medication-induced haze that awaited you back at the tower's infirmary, and once you had felt your body relax willingly into it, there wasn't much that could put you into a bad mood. Even the pain that kept coming as the doctor reset your bone didn't shock you; this was a well-earned respite from caring about the world around you. You were actually just about to drift off into the vast, soft cushion of sleep when Barton just had to stick his big head through the door and wake you up for something that could never be important enough, as far as you were concerned.

"Hey, (Y/N)," he began, announcing his arrival, "front desk says that you've got a visitor. Some guy in a red leather onesie?"

"Oh, shit," you groaned under your breath, though not to be missed by the archer, who was staring at you intently and ready for some good dirt on who this mystery guy might be.