Imagine If You Assembled The Avengers: Volume 3

Someone You Loved (dad!Tony x reader)

Who's up for some Christmas angst?

Warning: manipulative parent relationship, just general sadness of course

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me
This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy
I need somebody to heal
Somebody to know
Somebody to have
Somebody to hold
It's easy to say
But it's never the same
I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain

Now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you're not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

You were a superhero, dammit.

This wasn't supposed to happen. You were stronger than almost anyone, give or take a hulk or a super soldier here and there. You had tossed the giant tree creature across a battlefield and knocked that infuriating bald Drax guy back a step or two with the right hit. You were a force. You were revered amongst your peers. You were an Avenger.

He gave that to you, but now he was gone.

Tony had protected you when you shouldn't have needed it. When the woman he had likely unwittingly chosen as your maternal gene donor manipulated and degraded and belittled you into forgetting just how strong you really were. When she siphoned your strength to give her a sense of her own in the only way she knew how, he had been a shield stronger than any that Cap had ever carried, and a cloak that shrouded you in a magic unlike any that Strange could conjure. When he was there, in front of you with no suit to protect him from her venom, and nothing more than his stern voice and his furious glare, he was at his best and he was all that you would ever need.

But not anymore.

Your strength now had to be your own, from what Tony had left behind and what he had known all along. You could protect yourself, and you always could, but he took his job very seriously and wanted the role for as long as he could have it. He also knew that should she ever need it, and if Pepper couldn't provide it herself you were what Morgan would need as she grew up in a world that couldn't be trusted to keep her safe. You pushed yourself up and out of bed every morning with a silent promise to him that you would do this one thing that he had asked, the only thing he had ever asked of you, taking a moment to call your little sister for a quick hello before starting your own day.

You had hoped that hearing your voice every day was one more tiny reminder of the father you had shared, and the connection he had given you for a lifetime as his greatest gift.

It didn't make it any easier for your feet to hit the cold floor each day, however, or to show your face to the one person to whom you had assigned your worst thoughts. The one who called herself your mother, but never once played the role enough to feel true.

Why couldn't it have been her instead?

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to turn to
This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you
Now, I need somebody to know
Somebody to heal
Somebody to have
Just to know how it feels
It's easy to say but it's never the same
I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escape

Now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you're not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

You did your job every day, under the watchful eye of your Uncle Rhodey, who had taken his role so seriously that you felt that one day he might even come close to filling the void in your soul. His gentle hand on your shoulder gave only a slight comfort when faced with Tony's lingering presence on everything in that damn building. There would never be the true sense of the Avengers without him, even after his body was gone and returned to the earth; FRIDAY's voice held a pain that you hadn't thought she was capable of carrying. Parker would stop by and the tears that immediately filled his eyes left you with the need to dry them, despite knowing that once in the privacy of your own room you would shed them for him.

Tony was a hero, but he was flawed. His heart got in the way when the ego began to slip. His ego was what had kept him alive for so long amongst the terrors of the world, and when he finally let his heart lead the way, all it took was a snap of his fingers to make you see who he truly was. It was a moment seared into your mind, and a vision that woke you in terror during the night as it replayed over and over. You would never forget the look on his face for as long as you lived.

He was looking right at you when he did it.

And I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes
I fall into your arms
I'll be safe in your sound 'til I come back around

For now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you're not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Everyone knew that today would be the worst of them all for you and Morgan, the first Christmas without him. Your mother gave the obligatory gift, never anything with thought or from the heart that she claimed to have, rather something that made it very clear that she was using the money that Tony had left behind for you should anyone ever question her. The gloom of a hazy December morning did nothing to fill you with holiday cheer, and you doubted that anything would anyway. You gathered your gifts for Morgan and the others and left without a word, and she never noticed.

You actually preferred it that way.

It was a surprise that Pepper had brought Morgan to the compound to spend the day with the team, so you chose to take control of the day that had started in a spiral. Before presents were opened and before any meal could be served, you sat with the team and your little sister on your lap, telling her all of the stories that Pepper likely wasn't yet ready for her to hear. Everyone offered their best stories of your dad, never once straying from the good he had done all while steering clear of that one moment that both saved and destroyed everyone at the same time. This wasn't a day to revisit that pain; this was the day that would set the feeling for every Christmas that would come after it and his team was committed to doing it right, for both you and Morgan more so for any one of them.

As you held the little girl on your lap and gave her a tight squeeze that made her squeal with happiness for the first time that day, it was finally clear to you that the family that Tony had created was the only one you would ever need. This was the real gift that he had given you. You never went home after that day, and you never looked back at a life that would become a quickly forgotten past.

You were raised by a futurist, after all.

For now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you're not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved