Be My Reason (A Keaton Stromberg Fan Fiction)

Chapter 30

Chapter 30

It's difficult to explain how I got here. In only a short amount of time I bcame intoxicated with Keaton, like an addict I craved him at all times. Experiences weren't quite the same without my Keaton, and now that he's dormant, life has no appeal. Since school has started again my studies have gone significantly up, do to the fact I can't focus on anything else, I don't have time to break down. 

I visit with Keaton on the weekends, and once during the week, if I really miss him I go twice. I go out to eat with his family sometimes, God knows they need comforting i spend a lot of time with drew and wes, they're worse off than i am. they're utterly lost without their keats. People tell me non stop how sorry they are for my loss and send their get well cards, honestly im tired of it. i dont want their pity, i want keaton. if i could exchange all their damn cards and flowers for even a chance that he'll wake up, i would.

these thoughts play through my mind as i near keaton's hospital room, they've moved him across the building to a more "secure" part of the hospital. I know that really they don't expect him to wake up, so they've placed him here. 

"Rachel!" i hear a familiar warm voice say

"Darren." i allow myself a smile as i greet the joyful face in front of mine.

"I grabbed you some of these." he says handing me a bag of candy mints, my favorite candy to eat.

"Thank you! here's your blueberry muffin." i say exchanging my candy for his muffin

"Thank ya." he says clicking his tongue on the 'ya'. 

"How's Cary?" i ask and watch as his eyes glaze over slightly

"Same stats. What about Keaton?" he asks and i can hear the draw of hope in his voice, he wants keaton to be okay.

"Same."

"Well come stop by our room if you need company." Darren says before hurrying off to Cary's hospital room a few doors from Keaton's.

Darren is in the same boat as me. I met him 2 months ago and he's really been a huge help. I visited almost every day in the summer, that is, until my mother decided i was depressed. I guess I am, but so what? Anyways, I ran into Darren once in the hall, then once at my group therapy. We hit it off instantly and he's become one of my closest friends, well, considering my detachment from Alyssa and Kylie, he is my closest friend.

Darren is 17 and his girlfriend since the age of 14 slipped in a coma about a year ago. It took Darren a long time to open up to me with the details of what happened. He had been driving Cary home after a picnic he had planned out. However, he did not plan for her to reveal to him that she was pregnant. On the way home Darren was going insane, he was nervous and twitchy, then he broke. He started yelling things he says he wishes he could take back. With all the yelling he didn't pay the needed attention to the road. Side impact. Cary survived miraculously, the unborn baby did not unfortunately. Here she lies in her bed waiting for her body to re stimulate.

I walk into Keaton's small room greeted by his seemingly life less body and his freshly shaven face, i shaved his face yesterday. 

"Hi baby." i say kissing his cheek before taking my seat in the chair next to his bed.

"i brought some new stuff to read." I say, holding up a new book i had bought.

i think it's about some flower on a wall, whatever it is it was highly recommended by darren. So i begin to read to Keaton as i always do. page after page flows and my words seem to be on tempo with the beeping of his machine. pretty soon im lost in the book and it becomes more of a me thing than a keaton thing.

Then i just stop completely. that's how these visits have usually gone, i come in here and read to him, then i realize im reading to myself and not to him. i almost forget he's here, and that's terrifying. Although im interested as to the way Charlie, the main character in the book, analyzes others i put the book down. i decide to help keaton with his daily stretches that keep his limbs working, so i grab his arm gently and start to rotate it. his body feels limp and life less under my hands, which is why i normally refrain from these exercises.

Once im done i decide to head over to see Darren, so i grab my bag and walk the few doors it takes to get to Cary's room. I knock on the closed door before opening it, knowing that Darren is most likely reading to himself. Once the door opens my theory is found to be correct. 

"Hey Rachel," he says, politely placing his book on the modern end table beside Cary's bed. 

"Hi Darren," I say, walking towards the velvet couch against the wall. "Hello Cary," I say, making sure to acknowledge her because i know how shitty it is to have everyone treat your significant other as if they're already dead. 

"I say, you have to be a damned idiot to place a red velvet couch in a coma center hospital room," Darren says making me laugh in response

"A damned idiot or a stupendous genius?" i counter, raising an eyebrow

"Well, considering it matches absolutely nothing nothing in the room, let alone the hospital, yes. you'd have to be a damned idiot," he states showing off his perfectly straight teeth.

"Not true! I sir, am wearing red," i challenge with a smug tone, pointing at my red tank top. 

"Ay, and a beautiful color on you, not on a couch," Darren speaks in a slow fake slightly british accent

"Point made," i say and he laughs. 

his comment makes me nervous, of course he didn't mean beautiful in any way more than a platonic, "hey i know your boyfriend's in a coma so i have to be extra nice" way. 

"So how's the Wallflower going?" Darren asks and I immediately grin

"It's spectacular, I really love Charlie's view on the world."

"Right? it's brilliant," he declares as if it's the most magnificent thing.

That's one thing i like about being friends with Darren, he doesn't feel sorry for himself, and he doesn't let me feel sorry for myself.

"She looks a bit better this morning, doesn't she?" Darren asks, looking at Cary.

Theoretically, i suppose she does. But realistically, she looks the same every day. Of course, she is absolutely gorgeous. She has this thick red hair that flows down her hospital gown, her freckles scatter across her nose in that subtle way that i've always been jealous of.

Darren told me that her eyes are a bright green, not the deep kind that can go unnoticed, but the piercing kind you can't seem to take your eyes off of. So, of course with a smile i say, "She looks great." he smiles at me, pleased with my answer. 

Darren and I spend the remainder of the day switching between Cary's and Keaton's room, being sure to visit them while we hang out. It's sad really, the idea that Darren and I even know each other because we share a tragedy. But then again, maybe that's what both of us need.