Chapter 44: Any Cost

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I stick my tongue at him playfully and smile. He only glares at me with a smirk and then he shakes his head.

"Look I can make this sauce so much better just by adding one ingredient" I walk over to the stove.

"Sure you can" Christian scoffs.

"Everyone will take a taste before and after and vote on which is better" I smile.

"Fine. Just don't ruin the sauce" he rolls his eyes.

He holds the spoon to my mouth as I take a sip and all types of flavors hit my mouth immediately. All together they all suit one another. And I know the exact spice to add to make the taste pop all at once. After they all take a sip and admire the taste I look in each of the cabinets looking for the spice. I reach the last cabinet and grab it from behind the salt and pepper. The spice I had created myself. It has some ingredients Christians never even heard of. And that's what makes it the perfect addition to the sauce. I add two thin layers of the spice and stir it into the sauce. The smell immediately changes smelling much more richer. I take the spoon and take a sip. Perfect.

I hand the spoon to Christian as I smile. He raised one of his eyebrows and takes a sip. His eyes widen as he savors the flavor. He smiles at me. I know exactly what he's thinking.

"Just like mom's" he says trying to figure out how I recreated our mother's sauce recipe as he could never get the flavor just right.

Ethan and Grayson both take a sip and agree that it tastes much better than before.

"What is that spice called?" Christian questions.

"My secret homemade recipe" I smirk knowing he'll want the ingredients.

We sit and eat for awhile. No one says anything more. We all just sit and enjoy the food Christian had made and don't bother to talk about an uneasy topic. Maybe they're doing it for me. I believe they're afraid of how I'll react. But I'm not some child that won't be able to take what they'll say. They could say the cruelest things in the world and the words wouldn't hurt but the words coming from them would hurt. I know they wouldn't say cruel things yet they need to know that there are no topics that they can't talk about around me afraid of me breaking down. Because I know I'm much too strong to let words get to me. Words are nothing to me now. It's actions now and days that really affect me.

"What are we going to do about dad?" I set my fork down pushing away my plate as I lean on the table with my elbows looking at Christian.

He looks over at me with wide eyes. He looks back between Ethan and Grayson before looking at me. Eth and Gray both do the same. They each gather themselves trying to think of how to approach the question. I'm not a child. They should know better. I close my eyes for a few seconds and sigh heavily. I place my hands in my lap.

"This topic shouldn't be under uneasy conversations around Christina and I hope there aren't any topics classified under that. Nothing should change here. I don't want to be seen as a victim and you Christian of all people should be able to understand that more than anyone else" I hold my gaze with him before he breaks it.

"I'm sorry" he simply says.

"So what are we going to do" he adds.

"Hopefully we can put that situation aside for now. If he isn't coming back for us it shouldn't be much of a problem. I will try to appeal to the court that he deserves to be in jail and hopefully he will be back there soon" I sigh as I get up and place my plate in the sink before leaving the room along with the conversation.

I make my way to the twins room and open the door slightly trying not to wake them. I hear Christina coo and giggle softly as I slowly walk to her crib. As soon as she sees me she lifts her arms up gesturing for me to carry her. Christian still sound asleep, I pick up Christina and hold her in my arms. She plays with the rim of my dress as i sit on the rocking chair rocking back and forth slightly.

She looks up at me after awhile with a big smile plastered across her face. I look deeply into her eyes and in them I see Grayson and I. Not just us but the memories we have forged together. Ones I will never forget nor regret. Everything about our love has always been normal. We never had to try to hard to love each other. It just came naturally.

Christina looks up at my saddened eyes and wipes a tear from my cheek before it falls even lower. With her tiny hand she holds my cheek and pouts her lips, almost as if she's telling me to not be sad.

What would I do without this beautiful creature? She's given me life and I wouldn't have it any other way. She and Christian have both been my everything these past few months. I've adored spending time with them both like nothing else. Not only the photo shoots but the baths and the book reading and just the time we've spent together. I've cherished every second. They're not normal crying babies. At least not around me. They don't ever cry at night when everyone is sleeping. They don't scream. They don't do half of the things normal babies would. I've noticed how intelligent they both are. They're nearly a year old and have moved past crawling and onto walking and running. Not even one and they're running. Every baby puzzle game for 3 to 4 years olds they have solved without hesitation. I believe their intelligence is high. Like mother like daughter and son. I just hope one day they'll be able to understand my actions for the things that are yet to come.

I know I'm the moment I won't be able to stop myself to protect them at any cost. I will go through with anything that puts their safety first. Not risk it. I'll always choose them. Along with Grayson. Regardless for the things I'll have to do they must understand I do it for them. To save them.

***
What actions does she believe she'll have to take in the future?

Why does she hope they'll understand why she did what she will do?

Why does she not want them to treat her as a glass they're afraid will shatter?

Why does she dislike them classifying things as uneasy conversations?

Why did they not want to talk about their father?

Why did Christian, Ethan and Grayson all look at each other while eating?

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A/N
Here's another chapter:)
Might post tomorrow but I doubt it considering I have a basketball game and won't get home until like 8pm🤷‍♀️

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