Chapter Nine
Diana's P.O.V. 2012
"Do you want a popsicle Diana?" Luis questions. We are sitting in his garage after playing soccer for an hour. An ice pop sounds great, but I can't risk those calories. I have gone a week without anything and no one has noticed. I need to keep this up and even an ice pop would corrupt that. Regardless of my grumbling stomach I deny it. "Are you sure?" He asks again. I nod, taking a sip of my water. It is cold enough.
We sit there in silence for a bit and I catch him watching me. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I inquire. He smiles, his teeth white against his dark skin. He shakes his head as if brushing it off but I antagonize. "Come on, tell me." I prod, scooting my chair closer to his.
"It's nothing major, no big deal. I'll tell you later, okay?"
I sigh and shrug. Luis was a stubborn type of person and once he was set on something, he wouldn't break. This is something I've learned from being his best friend.
"Fine, but you better tell me!"
He laughs and promises to do so. He smiles again with that perfect smile. The thought of his odd look leaves the conversation as the subject quickly changes. "So, how's eighth grade?" He asks, taking a sip of his lemonade.
Terrible.
"It's okay. It's middle school so you understand that." Luis nods in understanding. I continue on. "How's tenth grade?" He shrugs, stirring his blue straw around in his drink. For a moment he doesn't answer. He has been known to do this a lot. He always has to contemplate something before he answers. I have never really understood that but I guess it's just an older guy type of thing.
"It's alright. Not as fun as everyone makes it out to be. Sure, I have friends and all but there is a bunch of pointless schoolwork. Also, I'm taking spanish just because I need to take a language but the teacher isn't even teaching it right. She's scrambled up all the words. It's so weird."
"But besides that, are you having fun? Any girls you are interested in?" I ask casually. I have given up on him ages ago. Besides, he was two years older. I might as well try to help him with the prettier girls.
"Yeah I am, but no, there aren't any girls that I'm interested in."
I raise my eyebrows in suspicion and he hides his face in his lap, laughing. When he finally looks at me he's blushing.
"There is totally a girl! Tell me!" I implore.
He finally gives up and leans back against his seat rubbing his hands over his muscular arms. "Okay, yeah, there's this girl. But, don't go prodding about her! I don't talk to girls about other girls!"
"Since when?" I scoff.
"True," he begins defeated. "Okay, well she's beautiful. She has this long curly hair and she isn't like a lot of those other girls. She isn't fake. Her laugh is so beautiful and we've been friends for a while now but I'm afraid to ask her out. You see, she's younger than me and I don't want her to be scared."
"Oh, a freshman." I tease, nudging his arm. "What's her name?"
"Cara," he spits out quickly.
I laugh and stand up, taking one last sip from my water bottle. "Well, I hope you get her, Luis."
He nods. "I do too, Diana. I really hope so. She's... different, but in a good way."
Smiling, I give him a sweaty hug. "Well, I gotta' go. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay."
*****
Inside the house, I find my mother vacuuming and dancing around to Elvis. Although she's only thirty she loves him. She constantly swears up and down that she was born a few decades too late. I just think she's going through her mid-life crisis. When I shut the door behind me, she turns around. "Oh, hey honey! What sounds good for dinner?" This was the second time today I've been faced with temptation.
"Nothing, really. I had a big lunch at school." She nods and continues vacuuming. "Mom? What are some exercises you do? I want to start working out." At that, a huge smile spreads across her face. She stops the whirring of the vacuum cleaner and wraps me in a big hug.
"Oh, I've been waiting for this! I knew you'd want to take your weight issue into your own hands one day! I'm so proud of you! Well, I go to the gym three times a week and on the other days I run. You're welcome to go to the gym with me. I like to run on my own, though."
I try to ignore the comment about my 'weight issue' but it just makes me more determined to lose it all. I agree to go with her sometime soon and she seems so excited. She can't stop saying things like, "I'm so happy for you!" , "We need to get you some workout clothes" , and "Maybe we should do pilates!". However, when she does stop, she sends me off to take a shower, swearing that I reek of body odor.
I comply and head immediately to the shower. When I strip off my sweaty clothing, I look in the full length mirror at my naked body.
Disgusting. Fat. Ugly.
It was a very good idea not to eat that popsicle and any food at all this past week. I couldn't give this up. I need to be thin. I have to be. Then, everyone would stop ridiculing me. Maybe I could actually wear shorts without people staring.
When I step into the shower, I turn the water up to scalding and scrub vigorously at my skin, imagining that I am ridding myself of the fat forever.
*Author's Note*
Hey everyone! I hope you are all doing well! It's summer, yay! That means I will be updating and posting a lot more. I am hoping to finish this story by the end of the summer but it depends on a lot of things!
I would like to thank you guys for reading this story! It means so much to me. I have a big favor to ask you all! Can you please vote, comment, follow, and share this story? I feel like a lot of young girls need to hear this and know that they aren't alone.
Thank you guys so much for all you've done! I love you guys so much and appreciate all of your support. Hopefully, I will be updating soon!
See you later xx
- Shelby
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Diana (Z.M.)
FanfictionDiana (noun) radiant; beautiful "How can you treat yourself like you're nothing? You're so much more than that." "That's the thing, I am worthless."
