Camisado || Brallon

Sit back, sit back, relax, relapse

Dallon's POV:

I have to do this.

No one will love you.

I know. I know. Just give me some time.

No, do it now before somebody stops you.

But, what if it doesn't work.

It will work. You've done it before.

Okay, okay. On the count of three. 1-2-

Now!

I stick my fingers at the back of my throat.

I'm supposed to be clean. I was in the hospital for 8 months. I just got out two weeks ago and I've already relapsed. I have an eating disorder.

I'm 6'3 and I used to weigh 107 pounds. I wasn't perfect. But, now I can't even look at myself. I'm so hideous and fat! I feel like a pig! I gained 50 pounds while I was in treatment.

I can't stand looking at the scale. I feel like I'm going to break it when I stand on it. It's not like I'm going to throw up or starve myself till I die. I'm just doing it until I look perfect.

My goal weight is 100. The only reason I passed out last time wasn't from lack of food. I just didn't sleep for a few days. I was tired, that's all. Right?

Right.