Chapter 14: Will You Take Me Out Of My Head

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-Alesana's POV-

I woke up cuddling next to Jax and Jax only. It's been a week since Oliver left and I've been feeling like absolute shit.

I sighed and checked my phone to see 3 messages from Oliver. I unlocked my phone and looked at them.

Oliver The Dinosaur<3: Good morning, love. Call me when you wake up.

Oliver The Dinosaur<3:'ll probably be around 3am here when you wake a couple of hours...

Oliver The Dinosaur<3: Hiiiii I'm awake and I'm lonelyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :c

I chuckled a bit at his messages and checked the time. It was two in the afternoon. Damn. I pulled up the dial pad on my phone and typed in Oliver's number.

"Oliverrrr!" I said excitedly as he answered the phone.

"Good morning Ala." He chuckled.

"It's not really morning here...but..ya know..."

"Have you eaten today yet?" He asked with concern.

"No...I just woke up..."

"Oh..okay. Are you going to eat?"

"Yes, Oliver I promise." I told him.

"I just don't want anything to happen to you. Especially since we're not there." Oliver's voice was shaky.

"Oliver...are you okay? You sound like you're about to cry..." Now I was the concerned one.

"I'm fine, I just want you to be okay..."

"I'll be okay Oliver, I promise. I have Hannah and Emma here."

"Hannah????" Oliver asked worriedly.

"Vegan's Hannah. Not Snowdon."


"I don't even know or communicate with her, don't worry my little dino."

"I'm not little..."

"Yes you are, but it's the good kind of little. You're my little dino because well..ya know. If you were a big dino we wouldn't be able to share kisses."

"Your voice when you said that...awee.."

"It was fabulous. I know. Hey...are we going to Skype later?" I asked him, hoping he would say yes.

"We do every night before you go to bed, don't we?"

"'m taking that as a yes." I said excitedly.

"Obviously it's a yes. Well...I have to go now. The wankers are waking up and getting grouchy because they want food. I'll talk to you soon, Ala. I love you." Oliver was a bit hesitant to hang up.

"I love you too, Oliver. Have fun on tour." To be honest, I was too.

Oliver and I said that we love each other a couple more times then hung up. After we hung up I scooted back on the bed and rested my back against the headboard as I pulled my knees up to my chest. "I'm not going to be able to do this..." I whispered as tears began to pour out of my eyes. Jax crawled over to me and started nudging his nose against my hand. I looked over and pet him for a few minutes then began to cry harder.

What if something happens....

What if Oliver finds someone who isn't broken and so much better...

I got up from Oliver's bed and walked over to his table. It held all kinds of pictures and drawings of us. Tears kept streaming down my face as I looked at all of them. You may be asking why I'm crying so much when I'm still with Oliver. Well, I'll give you an answer. I miss him....I miss the whole band. I've never felt safe before I met them..they've made me feel wanted. Oliver has had the most effect though. He's shown me that everything will be okay. And now that he's not with me I feel like nothing will be okay...

I began to cry harder and fell to the ground, bringing my knees up to my chest. Something bad is going to happen. I can't. I don't want something bad to happen. I need Oliver. My breathing began to quicken and I started to shake. I stood up shakily and reached for my phone on the bed. Once I had it I tried to steady my hands to unlock it and pulled up the dial pad once again then typed the number that I knew so well.

"Ala?" Oliver said when he answered.

"O-Oliver.." I sobbed as my breathing began to quicken.

"Alesana...what's wrong? Are you okay?!" He asked.

" I'm terrified..." I whispered.

"Alesana...why are you terrified....?"

"I...I don't want you to le...leave...I'm terrified that everything is going to crash and fall..." My breathing was getting so much worse at this point.

"'s going to be okay. I won't leave. Listen to me and just breathe. Alesana I love you. Breathe." His voice was dripping with concern. I began to breathe and focus on his words and picture him here.

"Never leave..." I whispered when I was normally breathing.

"I won't, Ala. I love you."

"I love you too..I'm gonna go let you do whatever you were doing now...I'm sorry..."

"Don't be sorry Ala, you needed me. It's okay." He said.

"I'm still sorry...anyway...have a good day I'll call you later..."

"Don't forget to eat. Stay beautiful." He said. We said that we love each again and hung up.

"Well Jax. Wanna go to my parents' house?" I asked, picking him up.

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